#and after watching tommy's latest video

[randompasserbyer]

Dear Hermitcraft fandom,

thank you for being normal.

Sincerely, me.

[simplyholl]

The Interview

Summary: After a talk show interview where secrets are revealed, things get heated in your dressing room.

Pairing: Rockstar Bucky x F. Reader

Warnings: Smut. 18+ Only. Minors DNI. Rockstar AU.

See My Masterlist Here

A/N: Sebastian Stan as Tommy Lee has me in a chokehold. So this was born from my tatted, horny daydreams.

"Who is your celebrity crush?" The host of the Midnight Show, Chet Smith asked you. Your newest movie was a box office hit, so you had to do every talk show to promote it. To say you were exhausted is an understatement. Luckily, this was your last stop for today. This show was the most fun because Chet brought out all the celebrity guests together. At least you weren't by yourself answering awkward questions.

The other guests were Red Star, the hottest rock band at the moment. They went viral while playing at their local bar. An audience member threw a bottle at their lead singer, Loki and the whole band jumped off stage to fight. They were offered a record deal the same week.

They are known for their wild videos on TikTok. Women everywhere love them. Currently, they are squeezed on the small sofa with you for the interview. Bucky Barnes, their drummer sat on one side of you, his tattoos drew you in like a moth to a flame. You were doing your best to not stare at him the whole time.

The Odinson brothers, Thor and Loki were on the other side. Loki is the lead singer, his long, dark curls and piercing stare made men and women weak in the knees. Thor plays guitar and he is the band's himbo. He's a charmer, flirting with you the whole interview. Steve Rogers is their bassist, an All-American guy to balance the others out. He plays the part well, flashing his megawatt smile at the live audience. But you can tell there is a darker side to him lurking under the surface.

You consider Chet's question; your PR team warned you about questions like this. "Well, I don't really have one." You shrug your shoulders, as the audience begs for a real answer. "Come on, darling. I know you're lying." Loki smirks, reaching his hand over Thor to rub your thigh.

"If I go first, will that help?" Steve asks, being the helpful guy that he is. You nod smiling shyly at him. "Okay, but when it's your turn you have to be honest." He winks at you, and the audience goes wild. He answers one of your costars. You promise to hook them up later. You feel your cheeks heating up, suddenly embarrassed that you have to answer now.

Chet repeats the question, and you bite your lip, pointing beside you to Bucky. "My celebrity crush is actually this guy." Bucky looks ecstatic, high fiving his band members as they congratulate him as if he has won an award. Thor's answer is a pretty pop star who he had been spotted out with twice already.

Loki's celebrity crush is a famous author whose upcoming book features a main male character who looks suspiciously like him. Dating rumors swirled even though there was no proof, except for a few flirty comments between them on Instagram. When it's Bucky's turn he says you, draping his heavily tattooed arm around you. You smile, grateful that he lied to save you from public humiliation. You were sure he was going to say someone who didn't look anything like you.

You're already dreading what the headlines tomorrow had in store. You and Bucky cuddled up on this sofa would no doubt be on every website. You should have lied, you tell yourself. People will start shipping you, his fans would be saying horrible things about you. You should have said anyone else.

Red Star took the stage to close the show. They were playing their latest number one hit. The audience was on their feet, some girls were crying as Loki's sultry voice came over the speakers. You watched Bucky closely. He played the drums like it was his life's purpose. He tossed the drumsticks in the air, pointing to you and winking as he caught them. It was the sexiest thing you had ever seen.

When their set was over, Bucky walked toward the dressing rooms with you, stopping outside yours. "Thanks for saying I was your celebrity crush back there. I would have been so embarrassed if you would have said somebody else." He flips his hair out of his eyes. "You don't have to thank me. It was the truth." You tell him goodbye, feeling awkward about the whole thing. You turn to go inside your dressing room to change into comfy clothes before you go back to the hotel.

Thick fingers catch your wrist, pulling you back toward him. "I wasn't ready to tell you bye." Bucky's lips curl, the light shines on his nose ring, bringing attention to his face. When you look into his shining blue eyes, you realize you don't want him to leave either. You grab the sides of his leather jacket, pulling him toward you. His mouth is on yours instantly. He presses you against your dressing room door, his large body covering yours.

You tangle your fingers in his long locks, needing him closer. Bucky hungrily kisses down your neck, while one hand travels under your dress. He rubs his thumb against your soaked panties. "All this for me?" You whine when he rubs harder, your clit making contact with the silky fabric. You move your hips, lost in the moment.

Voices echo down the hallway, bringing you out of your horny haze. "Bucky" You whisper, trying to warn him so he has time to stop before they see you. "Shh. I got you." He moves his body, so he is blocking you from view. His fingers are relentless, dipping inside your panties. His rough thumb rolls over your clit, you bury your face into his chest.

"Oh my God, It's Bucky! We are huge fans!" A woman's voice comes from behind him. You aren't brave enough to look, so you keep your face hidden. "Thanks guys. I love meeting fans. So, what's your favorite song?" You try to pinch him so he will get rid of them, but he continues talking about the world tour they are about to go on.

He enters you with two fingers, curling them as you moan out loud. The women look around him, finally noticing you. "Is she okay?" The second one asks. "Yeah, she's fine. She just ate too much so she has a stomachache." His fingers caress your inner walls, thumb rubbing in small circles. The band in your belly snaps, arousal flooding his hand as you come apart. Your legs shake, and you hold onto his arm to steady yourself. You clench your teeth to keep from making noise.

"You better get her inside; she can barely stand." One of the women says. They tell you both goodbye, as Bucky leads you inside your dressing room. "You did so good for me, but I need more." You look at him incredulously. He just made you cum the hardest you ever had in your life in front of two strangers and that wasn't enough.

Your legs are still trembling as he lifts you onto the vanity. Your back hits the cool mirror as Bucky slides your panties down your legs. His hot breath tickles your thighs as he lowers his face, pressing kisses to your inner thighs. He takes his time, nipping your sensitive skin. He licks a lazy stripe up your center, avoiding where you need him most. His tongue sinks inside you, firm nose pressing against your clit.

You cry out, head falling back, knocking into the mirror behind you. It bangs against the wall, hard enough to rattle the pictures hung there. Bucky drinks every drop of you, moaning as you writhe against his face. His plump lips fasten around your swollen nub, sucking and tugging like he can't get enough.

Your shaking legs close around his head, trapping him as you ride out your high. You cry his name, not caring who hears you. Bucky lifts you, slamming you against the wall. He holds you with one arm, the other works quickly to bring his pants down. His cock springs free, pink tip leaking. You swallow hard, intimidated by his size. "You're so big." You shiver, anticipation putting you on edge. He holds you, lining your bodies up.

"You can take it." He snaps his hips up, slamming into you. You try to adjust as he stretches you, wiggling around to see if the stinging will go away. When it starts feeling good, your arms wrap around his neck, holding on as he pulls out, leaving the tip in. He thrusts back into you, bottoming out. You have never felt so full, he fills every inch of you. He sets a steady rhythm, every part of him feels like it was made for you. You pulse around him, your back hitting against the wall as he sinks impossibly deeper.

Bucky bunches your dress around your hips, thick fingers digging into your skin as he fucks you. You try to meet his thrusts, but you're too weak from the explosive orgasms he already gave you. You hold onto him as he uses your body, his ragged breath on your neck brings forth the familiar pressure in your lower stomach.

"You're doing so good. Fuck! You take me so well." He praises, moving your thigh higher up his torso. He holds it in place, tilting his hips. The new angle makes your vision blur as he deliciously drags against a place you were sure was a myth until this very moment. Your nails dig into the back of his neck as you shatter around him.

Bucky's thrusts grow brutal, taking what he needs from you. "Oh fuck" He moans as he spills inside you. For a moment, you just look at each other, trying to catch your breaths. Thankfully, he knows you can't stand on your own, so he carries you to the sofa. Your dress is still around your waist, arm over your eyes. You can already feel a dull ache in your stomach where he had been just moments ago.

"Do you mind?" Bucky asks, pointing his phone toward you. You narrow your eyes, not understanding. "You're just so fuckin' hot and I wanna remember this." He says, his meaning finally dawning on you. You nod, almost too tired to speak. He angles his phone camera toward you. "Fucking perfect." He examines the photo he just took before showing you.

Your hair is disheveled, giving you the appearance of being caught in a windstorm. Your cheeks are flushed, eyes blown wide with lust. The top of your dress barely contains your breasts. The bottom is by your hips, your exposed cunt glistening with his cum. Bucky set the picture as his phone's background. You protested because you looked like a mess. Bucky stopped your arguing with a kiss. "You know what you look like?" He asks, smiling wide as he turned his phone screen toward you. "What?" You cross your arms over your chest, suddenly feeling insecure. "Mine."

Tags

@cindylynn @wheredafandomat @multifandom-worlds @loz-3 @megharat-barnes-reid @kats72 @crimson25 @mochie85 @cakesandtom @lokidokieokie @theallknown213 @alexakeyloveloki @tmilover1993 @yeaiamme2 @pigeonmama @yeehawbrothers @lokischambermaid @fictive-sl0th @nomajdetective @goblingirlsarah @foxherder @weirdothatwritess @silver-tongue-taken-to-bed @freegardenbanananeck @lamentis-10 @jainaeatsstars @queenshu @justsebstan @kcd15

[hunter470]

My 9-1-1 RANT

Ok, I don’t normally do these types of posts, but I can’t move on until I get some things out. These are just my thoughts about the latest episodes of 9-1-1 as well as overall comments on the Buck/Tommy relationship. These opinions are mine and are based on the countless hours of TV I’ve watched in my 54 years on this planet, as well as my knowledge of writing and how Hollywood operates. I’m not confirming that any of this is true or are the real intentions of anyone involved with the show. Just my opinions. So, you can agree with me or not. I’m not trying to persuade anyone in any way. Also, I’m not going to get into endless arguments about my opinions but feel free to comment if you want, I just don’t promise I’ll reply. 

Ok, here we go. Sorry it’s so long. Like I said earlier, I just needed to get it out. So many wasted opportunities.

If you think TM cares what the fans want, you’re seriously kidding yourself. If he did, Buddie would have been canon a long time ago. The only thing he cares about is ratings and his vision for the show, which can change at a moment’s notice with no rhyme or reason as we’ve seen. 

Although I loved Buck and Tommy together, I knew the show wouldn’t do their story justice. So, no matter what TM or OS have said, the bi story was only to garner publicity, draw in new viewers, and increase ratings especially with the show moving to a new network. There was no altruistic reason behind it so don’t kid yourself. They knew there was an audience for the story because of all the Buddie shippers. Just remember, it’s called show business, not show friends for a reason.

Do you think OS really cares about bi representation? Based on his latest comments and non-apology it’s obvious he only cares about getting the stories that garner him the most screen time and press. Seriously, read his latest interviews. He’s excited to get to have fun now. So, congrats OS, Buck gets to F around. Just shows how most, if not all, actors are ego driven no matter what they say. Sorry not sorry.

TM has commented that he doesn’t owe anyone anything. In fact, I recall him saying to Buddie fans if they don’t like it, read fanfiction. If that didn’t clue you in, then you weren’t reading the room. Kinda reminds me of another show runner…for those who watched H50 you know who I’m talking about. That’s why I don’t get heavily invested in these shows. I’ll watch but I never expect anything I like to last…especially if it has to do with gay relationships.

It says a lot that the show remained completely silent about the bullying and death threats Lou received just for playing a role he was happy to play. Again, they really didn’t care because they knew he wasn’t going to be there after episode six. What a great message for all the bullies…just keep bullying and you’ll get what you want. 

Again, reread OS’s interviews. He was doing the Hollywood double speak. Says just enough to keep you hooked with hope to get you to watch even when he knew all along it wasn’t lasting. It really was as clear as day if you go back and read what he said. 

Also, if you thought Buck was going to get into a meaningful long-term relationship, then you didn’t watch the video from the You Tuber “Call Me Chato” that TM posted on his Facebook. The video was all about characters and how they should always stay fundamentally the same with minimal development - I’m paraphrasing. However, Buck is the golden retriever, heart so big it gets broken, character who will remain on a hamster wheel and unlucky in love because that’s who he is. If he changes too much it shifts the dynamic, which only happens if the show was ending. 

If you thought the writers would do justice to a bisexual story, then you haven’t been watching the show closely. There’s been minimal Buck/Tommy relationship development on screen. Taylor got more. Viewers were lucky to get crumbs in the limited screen time Buck and Tommy got. Then, a breakup out of left field? One minute Buck is saying Tommy is it for him and he wants him to move in, and then it’s over? If he truly felt deeply for Tommy, why not fight to keep him? Why give up so easily and let him walk away? What’s the point? Also, to end it on a terrible stereotype is yet another clue. Horrible writing and another sign that TM and OS had zero investment in the relationship. The whole break up was rushed and made no sense. Essentially, it was just used to draw people in and to get Buck single and sleeping around again because that’s who he is. I for one won’t care for any of Buck’s future relationships. I mean, why would I when they never last. 

Also, writers that give you a 66-year-old police sergeant and a 10 y/o boy landing a heavily damaged plane on an active freeway in LA with no prior training, and sorry playing video game flight simulators is not training, is some Sharknado level writing, which is not a compliment. Oh, and that whole story was truly the shows “jumping the shark” moment. If you don’t know what the term “jumping the shark” means, look it up and try to tell me I’m wrong. 

Not having Tommy involved in the three part premier episodes, other than a few minutes at a birthday party, was so obvious as to the show’s intent. I mean, the fake captain from Hotshots got more screen time. 

They claim they wanted someone for Buck that was connected to him and the 118 and then you don’t use the character at all. You wanted Buck off the hamster wheel? What a crock! Such a wasted opportunity.

Since it’s been confirmed episode 6 was filmed before 5, Tim’s just playing god with peoples’ feelings and crushing their hearts at this point. I mean, how do you have such a great episode (5) and a wonderful speech by Josh (6) just to break them up? Plus, having Tommy break up after six months? That man was all in, which was obvious in episode 5.

Guess it shouldn’t be a surprise that’s how TM would handle things after that horrible Tarlos breakup. At least on Lone Star we knew Rafa (Carlos) was a main cast member so there was hope. Lou was a guest star so it seems kinda final based on his interviews. Again, what was the point? They could have had Buck's bi revelation be with a random character. So, building up the Buck/Tommy relationship just to take it away was to inflict the most pain. Good job. 

Do I think the show will make Buddie canon? Who knows…one thing I do know is I wouldn’t trust them if they did. Also, even if Tommy somehow returns, I don’t trust TM with anything related to this story. Sure, hope he’s happy with ruining the show for so many people. Again, like another show runner I mentioned in item 4 above. Honestly, I can’t believe the Buddie fans have stayed for so long. That’s commitment, I guess. 

Do I think Lou should go back to 9-1-1? Hell no! He was screwed over by both TM and OS. Prove it to me otherwise. However, it’s up to him and of course, he loves acting so I wouldn’t blame him.

Finally, even though I’ve watched the show since the beginning, it no longer brings me joy. There are too many other TV shows to stick with one I no longer enjoy. So yes, I’m announcing my departure, and I don’t give an F what OS, you, or anyone else thinks about it. Not that any of this matters any way…

[spenceragnewfics]

spencer shower sex!?

I hope you all enjoy! Love ya💕

SPLISH SPLASH | Spencer Agnew x F!Reader | 18 MINORS DNI!!

TW: Oral (f receiving), penetration, usual smut stuff.

Word Count: 1.9k

Description: After a very long and stressful shooting week, Y/N needs a little stress relief and luckily her boyfriend, Spencer, knows just how to help.

Working at Smosh is one of the best things someone could do. The people, work, and fans are all amazing but it’s also very stressful.

The company is huge! So it’s obvious that it would come with stress but some people don’t seem to understand that. They think it’s all just fun times and chillness because you work at a content creation company.

As the main PA for the gaming channel, Y/N is a very busy person. She’s always running around getting things for shoots, lunch orders, helping the cast and crew when they run into things, and many other things.

This is a role she has had for a few years and loves it. She loves being able to meet new people, be creative, and hang out with an amazing crew. Plus, she gets to spend everyday with the love of her life, and boss, Spencer.

The two got together before he became the director of the channel but got to work even more together when he was promoted two years ago. So if anyone knows how draining the job of PA can be, it’s Spencer.

Who is currently watching his girlfriend help Chanse and Angela figure out the rules of the latest new game for Board AF. “So, you just have to be quick and clear…right?” Angela asks, confusion in her eyes. 

“Basically, it’s a lot easier to understand as you play. Which, I’m so sorry you two weren’t at the practice game but you know how last minute cast changes work.” She says, smiling softly at the two.

Usually, when there is a new game to be played on the gaming channel the cast, who are going to be playing the game, sit with her, Spencer, and Alex T to learn the game. Well it was originally supposed to be Shayne, Courtney, Tommy, and Arasha but Tommy and Arasha had different things come up so Chanse and Angela were pulled in.

“I think my problem is, the overall concept is a little weird.” Chanse explains, unintentionally making Y/N die on the inside. She’s been explaining the game for 20 minutes but they still can’t seem to understand.

Noticing her distress, Spencer walks over, putting a hand on her waist. “Hey, honey, how about you go take a little walk and get a snack. I’ll try and see if I can crack them.” He suggests, squeezing her waist in a comforting manner as she looks at him sad.

“Are you sure, because I can keep-”

“I’m sure, now go before I make you.” He kisses her cheek, sending her off the set as Chanse and Angela shout apologies.

Pushing open the set doors, Y/N takes a deep breath as she starts her walk to her desk. She smiles at people she passes by on her short walk until she gets to the gaming pod. Her desk is across from Spencer’s, and under it is a little mini fridge. She opens it grabbing the leftover iced coffee she put in there from the morning and some random snack she had.

She sighs as she sits at her desk, laying her head on it. She doesn’t understand what is making her so stressed lately but she's starting to get annoyed with it. Her phone buzzes as she lifts her head up, reading the text from her boyfriend. She’s needed back on set so they can film.

Walking back to the set, she sighs when she gets to the doors then puts on her best fake smile. “Who’s excited to shoot?” She asks, walking in and grabbing her stuff. The cast cheers as she walks over to stand beside Spencer, he puts an arm around her waist and kisses her temple. “Are you okay?” He whispers, “Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” He can tell the smile is fake but decides to ignore it for now.

The shoot goes well and without a hitch except for the usual silliness that happens in a gaming video, but that’s what makes the shoots so fun.

Once the shoot is finished, Y/N helps get things cleaned up when Angela walks over, “Hey, Y/N.” Looking over her shoulder, she smiles at the woman, “What’s up, Ang?”

“I just want to apologize for earlier.” Angela says, her face sullen. “What? What are you apologizing for? Don’t worry about it, sweets.” She assures the girl in front of her. Placing a hand on her shoulder, “It’s just been a very long shoot week, and things have been crazy lately. It’s not your fault or Chanse’s, be sure to tell him that because I can see his sad puppy dog eyes from here.” The two laugh and Angela gives her a hug before walking away.

Not too long after, Spencer walks over as Y/N sits on the new couch, her eyes closed as she tries to enjoy some quiet time. He sits next to her and she lays her head on his lap. “What’s wrong, my little kickstart?” Y/N giggles at the nicknames before opening her eyes and looking at his blue ones. “It’s just been a very long week and I’m super tired.” She looks at him with a pouty expression that brings a loving smile to his face.

“How about we head out early? The only thing we have left today is to do some editing but we can do that at home.” He leans closer to her face, “After we have some fun of course.” He whispers, a cunning smirk on his face that perks Y/N up a bit.

“Oh really? You think we can work that into the schedule?” She jokes and he rolls his eyes, “Come on, let’s go home.” Y/N slides off the couch and follows Spencer, holding his hand as the two get ready to leave.

Once the two get to their shared apartment, Spencer pulls Y/N in for a kiss as the door closes. The kiss is gentle and sweet, something that makes her heart feel warm. He pulls back after a moment, “Go get in the shower, take some time to yourself.”

“Aw, you don’t wanna join me?” She asks, wrapping her arms around his neck. “Do you want me to join you?” He asks, wrapping his arms around her waist. “I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t want you to.” She teases before giving him a quick peck and walking to the bathroom.

Spencer waits until the shower turns on to follow her in, he takes his clothes off as he walks so that way he can go straight in. The bathroom is starting to get steamy when he walks in and the curtain is closed, hiding his girlfriend from his sight.

He moves the curtain to the side, his eyes are met with the beautiful sight of his girlfriend’s naked body. Stepping in the shower, he closes the curtain and wraps his arms around Y/N’s waist, giving her shoulder a gentle kiss.

“Took you long enough.” Y/N says, turning around so that her front is against his. “I thought you could wait just a bit longer.” He teases before leaning in to kiss her. His lips move gently against her as his hands roam her body, they move smoothly against her wet skin as she tangles her hands in his hair.

Moving a hand down, he slips it between her thighs and rubs her clit gently. Pulling back slightly, breaking the kiss, she moans at the feeling, a little of tension finally being released.

“Don’t tease me, you know I need this.” She practically whines as his hand continues to rub. “Just calm down, babe, you deserve this.” He says before gently pushing her against the shower wall and getting on his knees. “Legs on my shoulders, my little kickstart.” Y/N giggles as she does what he says. Her sounds quickly change to soft sighs as he kisses her inner thighs.

“Spence, what are you-” Her voice stops as he starts to suck on her inner thigh, using the same motion as he does when he’s leaving a hickey on her neck. “Need to make sure whenever you wear shorts people know you’re mine.” He says when he gets done with the hickey on her thigh.

Not wasting a second, his head moves to her core and a long strip up her slit brings out a long moan. Her hand finds placement in his hair as he works magic on her. The two have been together so long they know how the other ticks, what makes them feel best and how to get them to feel fuzzy.

His lips find place on her clit which makes her eyes roll back. He groans when her hand grips his hair, sending vibrations onto her clit, making her moan his name. 

“Spence, please, I need you, now!” She whines, pulling his head away from her. His beard is glistening along with his lip and his eyes are looking at her innocently. “Please.” She begs and it’s enough for him to give in.

Carefully putting her legs back on the ground, Spencer gets up and spins her around. Spitting on his hand, he gives his dick a few strokes before sliding inside Y/N. His hips start slow as he grabs her hair and pulls her against him, “Fuck, baby.” She moans, the feeling of him going in and out hitting just the spot she’s needed for days.

“You like that? Finally being able to feel what you’ve wanted for days?” He whispers in her ear, his thrusts slowly becoming faster. “Yes, yes, yes. Spencer! Yes!” She moans, laying her head against his shoulder, giving him perfect access to kiss her neck.

“Don’t hold back, please.” She begs, needing more as she feels the stress slowly melt away. “Anything for you.” He says before speeding up his thrusts, the sound of wet skin hitting skin resonates in the bathroom along with their moans and groans of pleasure. 

Sneaking a hand down, he rubs her clit with the same pace of his thrusts. The feeling of being full and the pressure on her clit starts to make Y/N’s brain feel fuzzy. A feeling that Spencer has been the only to make her feel. She feels him smirking as her legs start to shake from the feeling.

He moans as she tightens around him, making him see stars for a second. “Fuck, I love when you do that.” he groans into her neck as he continues his thrusts. 

It doesn’t take much longer for the both of them to get close. His thrusts start to get sloppy as she starts tightening around him more and more. His hand speeds up on her clit as he nibbles on the sensitive part of her neck, “Spencer! I’m coming!” She screams as the knot in her stomach pops.

“Just like that baby, just let go.” He coos in her ear, holding her against him as her legs shake even more from the feeling. “I’m gonna come too.” He moans as he pulls out. Stroking his dick fast, he has it position on her ass as he moans out her name, releasing on the plump area.

A few moments pass as the couple comes down from their highs. Shaky breaths, water falling on them, and the two holding onto each other. Y/N turns to look at Spencer with a sheepish smile, “You know, for only one ball you do cum a lot.” She jokes with a small laugh. “Eh, you gotta compensate where you can, dude.” He says while chuckling before kissing her sweetly.

Resting their foreheads on each other, they take a moment to just enjoy being together. “How about we clean up and then go cuddle and watch a movie?” She asks, rubbing his arms. “That sounds perfect.” He agrees before kissing her forehead. Both of them feeling much more relaxed than before.

[steelstreqq]

pov i revive an old project from 2021 because i watched one sorry boys video

this is the 'rustout au', its a combination of TWD, fallout 4, and rust but i shoved silly block men (and ted nivison) in it. essentially its a zombie apocalypse au that takes place at some time in the 80s or 90s following a nuclear fallout that occurred due to undisclosed government activities with foreign global superpowers. none of the normal civilians really know why the nukes went off and only a few of the most wealthy in the community really were able to get down to the bunkers in time

there are a ton of characters i want to include in this au, but considering i made this in the peak of the dsmp fandom i have to be kinda careful to not pick out any ccs who are still a part of dream's posse.. :pensive:

so far, the other characters in this au who aren't displayed here are fundy, techno, philza, bizly, grizly, condi, connor, jack, eret, and a few others i cant think of rn >_<

some character information below ^-^

WILBUR G. SOOT - the widowed father to fundy. wilbur lived in a house in a suburban neighborhood with his teen aged son before the nukes went off. once the initial fallout occurred, will and fundy had an argument about where they should shelter. the day after the argument, wilbur awoke to find fundy had completely disappeared. grief stricken at the loss of another family member (under the impression that he was the reason fundy had 'ran off'), wilbur risked his safety to search for his son, traveling from settlement to settlement. he hated himself and blamed himself for his son's disappearance. by this point, he wanted to lie in the dirt and rot with the corpse of the land below him

TOMMY ZA - the adoptive son of phil, a single child. tommy was at school during the blasts, thus he was separated from his father. he and the rest of his school were ushered to the basement following the explosions to protect them from fallout. when given the all clear, tommy ran down barren streets to find his way home, and never did. too frantic and unable to navigate his way properly, he became stranded and lost. the crushing anxiety of being alone seemed to summon a taller man with a guitar case from a local town. he had found himself wandering into tommy's neighborhood. and therein, an alliance was formed.

"RANBOO" - ranboo is a mysterious creature who doesn't really appreciate questions about his history. tommy and wilbur found him a month or two into constructing their own settlement. ranboo was found uncomfortably asleep in a cramped car not far off from Dome. he was rudely awakened with a violent mugging from tommy. wilbur caught up to the shorter brit and apologized for his actions, suggesting that ranboo could stay at their camp as compensation for the troubles that tommy had brought to ranboo. ranboo reluctantly agreed and now is a part of the dome's settlement. tommy speculates ranboo is secretly a mentally mutated creature-freak-thing and must be put down immediately, ranboo just wants to eat dinner in peace.

CHARLIE SICKLE - charlie is the latest member to join the settlement. the former front man for the hit pop group Roll With You. during an england tour, the nukes went off and front man charlie had been stranded during his burger lunch break. separated from the rest of his band mates. charlie has faced deterioration in his mental state due to the stress of surviving during such a gruesome time period. by the time wilbur finds himself at the receiving end of charlie's gun, he is already unhinged. wilbur manages to talk charlie into submission carefully, and decides to see if he can form a fragile alliance with charlie for some sort of twisted protection. charlie agrees, as he is so *sick* of being alone. charlie simply insists he is just a silly billy, everybody else thinks hes clinically insane

DOME- dome is a passive settlement founded by wilbur soot to bring in local survivors and give them a small and safe community to rebuild humanity. although this is a large goal in such a hostile and dangerous situation, tommy gives wilbur hope to keep going. who knows, maybe while scouting for survivors, they could stumble across phil or fundy

TED - ted is a serial killer, plain and simple. hired by schlatt to be a bodyguard after the fallout, ted had escaped his cinder block hell to essentially be a guard dog thanks to the nukes. it turns out prisons arent explosion-proof. ted is silent, he doesnt speak much, but he has a clear cut focus on what he wants. when he does speak, he talks clearly and normally. mostly, about his travels with his good buddy 'eddie nine pins', whom he apparently did everything with before getting caught

J. SCHLATT - schlatt is a larger than life business mogul, the ceo of a handful of companies that produce clothes, products, music, etc. hes an incredibly creative and intuitive man who knows how to get what he wants. he is the forefront leader of his settlement in the bunker. schlatt is falsely married to quackity, both of them agreeing to commit marriage fraud when they initially entered the world of entrepreneurship as it looks better and improves both of their charisma in social situations. their 'marriage' is entirely superficial and loveless, purely for aesthetics

A. QUACKITY - you might say quackity is a strange last name, he'd tell you to mind your own business and call you poor in two different languages. quackity runs a small 'medicine' dealing business on the surface. in exchange for fancy goods and food, quackity will give out medicine to needy survivors with no real idea of what any of it does. indirectly, quackity has killed 15+ people with his medication and harmed countless others. he doesnt feel bad, as long as he gets something out of it. he's been spoiled by his previously lavish life and just can't stand to let it all go

TOBY "TUBBO" SCHLATT - tubbo is the adoptive son of schlatt. while schlatt opted to adopt tubbo purely for aesthetics, just as he did with his marriage, he ended up getting somewhat attached to the little guy (and so did quackity). adopted at the age of 13, tubbo was quickly exposed to the inside mechanisms of business, the lying and cheating that goes on behind the retina and he has no interest in becoming a mogul like his father. rather, he opts for weapon studies and collecting a massive arsenal of different types of guns and bombs. tubbo sees the fallout as more of a playground than anything, being able to collect and test as many 'toys' as he wants. tubbo and tommy have crossed paths on several occasions, wherein they both will have a bit of a scuffle until theyre tired, then sit and talk. they consider each other friends, and neither of them know of the conflict between schlatt and wilbur

THE BUNKER - the bunker was once a safe haven for the one percent in england, but only a week into shelter, everybody was slaughtered. quackity and schlatt performed a hostile takeover of the bunker for no greater reason than the fact they wanted more space and more liberties. theyve now claimed the entire bunker as their home, and they want to see how far they can expand their power and control.

if youve made it this far, thx so much for reading it means the WORLD to me.. ill be posting abt this au alongside my other projects like claymore hills and the sanatorium au (which also was a 2021 thing!!)

heres a playlist i made for the rustout au if anybody is as interested in music as i am

thanks sm again, likes and reblogs are both appreciated ^-^ asks are open and heavily encouraged if you wanna know more :DD i know dsmpblr is a little dead but maybe mcytblr might like this, u never know if u dont try so ill take shot in the dark ^-^

note: NONE of these characters should be confused with the CCs. they are loosely based off of real interactions and projects but are entirely FICTIONAL in this universe. i do not support the actions of content creators such as dream, george, sapnap, punz, and many others associated with dream thus they will NOT be in this project. thank you.

[starstruckbyacomet]

A Friendly Reminder...

...to not watch the show through the official channels. Since there's a possibility that they won't continue Tevan's love story, our biggest chance for Tommy's return is by:

Keeping the rating/viewership* low to push the show to bring Tommy back.

*Rating = live/same day views via cable, viewership = streaming views up to +7 days since live.

Some people might think that our views don't matter. There are 4 millions people watching the show. Tevan shippers might be only one or two thousands people on Tumblr. We're like drops in the lake.

This situation is similar like the latest US presidential election. There were 140 millions of voters. Our votes like drops in the ocean. Did it stop you from casting your vote?

You want protections of women's rights and marriage equality. You want an affordable health care. You want a free, or at least affordable, higher level education. You want accountability of police brutality. Did you vote to make them happen, or were you sitting around, letting other people vote, waiting to reap the benefit from other people's works?

You want a happy ending of the rare bisexual relationship representation on TV that you've invested on. You've done some of the works: submitting complaints to ABC, and posting comments on ABC's official IG & FB accounts. But we all know, all of them won't matter if the rating/viewership doesn't budge.

You still can get the update of the latest episode by watching video clips on YouTube. There are several YouTube channels which upload clips from the latest episode within hours after it is live. My go to channel is:

Other similar channels are:

Nobody can't guarantee that witholding our views would bring Tommy back, like no one could guarantee that Democrats would win even if you'd voted Blue. Even if the show continues Tevan's love story, it might be because it has been planned in advance, and this break-up is a planned temporary hurdle. Whatever the result is, let's try our best to make their love story continues.

[ax-y10]

Hello hello!

I'm here to make my first official request during my time on tumblr!

All i can think about is going to Disneyland with wilbur (heavily inspired by the Tom Simon's channel 🫢) and the rest of them and being apart of that video.

Like buying wilbur ears and having Tommy gagging at all the couple antics going on and Phil cheering wil on. Wilbur surprising you with a Disneyland sweatshirt and promoting Disney instead of Tommy's merch that was coming out of the time.

I hope all is well for you and I love your latest

:)

Pure Love And Disney Sweaters

In which- a certain "child" wants attention, but you have the most important eyes

A/n: I'm going to try my best fucking hardest to make your first request a really good one. I haven't watched in ages so I'm going to try my hardest to rewatch it. I'm tired pls don't bully me

Chapter info: Swearing, kissing, Tommy wanting attention, Wilbur making silly little jokes at you, fear of rollercoasters, Phil being a darling, Kristin also being a darling, Tommy being a shithead, mention of passing out, mention of panic attacks, mention of throwing up. It's funny because I actually didn't rewatch the vid, and this is all over the place (i'm sad that I didn't include the quirked up white boy thing or the stubble)

Pronouns: None (You/Yours)

Masterlist:

You got so excited when Tommy told you that he was going to Disneyland for a new vlog. You were ecstatic at the idea as you'd never been to Disneyland before, jumping around in your seat. Wilbur heard your little cheers from the room over, and when he peered in, you were spinning your chair around. You yelped when you saw him in the doorway, a fond smile spread across his face.

The very first thing you did upon finding out was ramble to Wilbur about how excited you are, followed by packing. Tom said he got tickets for everyone's flights (you doubt it) and created a groupchat with everyone who was going, made up of Phil, Kristin, Tommy, Wilbur and you.

'Fair group' you thought. But oh my you were wrong.

The entire flight, Tommy was playing his DS, but as soon as Wilbur pulled out his 'You can rest your head on my shoulder move', Tommy was at it with the teasing.

"Oh Wilbur, how could you ignore me?" "How come Y/n gets to rest their head on your shoulder and I don't?" followed by him throwing his head on Wil's shoulder.

And it didn't stop until you finally reached the hotel. The constant teasing and poking fun dying down once you were both laying down on the bed, nuzzled against each other, and tired after a long day full of Tommy.

"Sweetheart?" Wilbur spoke into the silence of the room, snapping you from your anticipation for the day to come.

"Yes?" You rested your head in the crook of his shoulder and neck.

He paused for a moment, contemplating his next words, whispering "I love you" cheekily before turning away from you and curling into a ball.

You reefed on his pajama shirt, getting him to roll back over to cuddle you, the cold of the room finally finding its way under the sheets without your boyfriends arms around you. Complying, you were once again peaceful with the weight of his arms resting on your sides.

And soon enough, you were awake nice and early (against your will, blame Tommy), brushing your hand through Wilbur's curls, and getting ready for the day. An hour passed and you ran down the stairs to the lobby, stuffing up your sweater, and finding a seat next to Kristin.

"How come males always take forever to get ready when their is something important going on?" you whispered to Kristin, before leaning back and smiling cheekily.

"I think it should be the other way around, dear," She replied and laughed quietly.

All of a sudden, you let out a squeal as a warm pair of arms engulf you, followed by a forced weight and a yelp from a familiar boy.

"Ow, Tommy!" You exclaimed, the boy throwing himself down next to Phil.

Arriving at Disneyland, Tommy immediately wanted to go on "Space Mountain", and begged and begged Wilbur to take him over there, him declining each time

And then he got ganged up on by a bunch of presumably eight year olds who could pull the sword out of the stone, bullying Tommy for not being able to pull it out. You had to drag him away from it, all the while Wil was spouting false history facts about the building the group was approaching.

Later, you and Wilbur sat on a bench outside a ride while Phil and Tommy went on a rollercoaster together, and Kristin was getting food for everyone, even though you had offered to go with her. You were talking about how you had never been to Disneyland and how this entire experience was made all the better just by him being by your side. You weren't aware, but he was staring at your face and the excitement plastered over it, admiring you until you turned to him.

"I love you" you whispered, in which you broke him out of his trance.

"I love you too, forever and always, my love," he spoke sincerely, and you saw the genuine emotions behind his eyes.

Que the gag from Tommy and the exchanged smiles between Phil as Wilbur leaned down and pressed his lips to yours.

"Oh fuck off Tommy, you attention-seeking ass" your boyfriend teased, and pulled a small giggle from your lips.

"IT'S YOUR TURN ON THE ROLLERCOASTER, LOVEBIRDS!" Tommy yelled, and your eyes widened in fear. You hated rollercoasters.

A hand was placed upon your shoulder, and you were led into the ride with Wilbur, waiting nervously in line. You weren't ready for the roller coaster, not at all.

"Wilbur, please. I really don't want to do this. I'm terrified of rollercoasters," You begged, desperately wanting to avoid this, scared you'll pass out, have a panic attack or throw up.

"Okay, you head back out to Kristen and I'll get Tommy to come with me for forcing you on here," He laughed, and you quickly walked back out to Kristen and Phil. Thankfully, it was the last ride they were going on for the day, so you three walked back out the front and ordered an uber for when Wilbur and Tommy get back.

But little did you know, Wilbur had bought you a Disney sweater, and surprised you with it when you got back to the hotel. And he was met with a big, warm hug from you and kisses peppered across his face.

And the best part of the day for him? Watching you smile in your sleep, engulfed in the blue fabric of the sweater, accompanied by your sweet noises in your sleep.

[blouisparadise]

There are so many amazing bottom Louis fics that were posted or completed during the month of December. We’re entering a new year feeling incredibly grateful for the amazing fics we got in 2023, and excited for the many we’ll get in 2024! Happy reading!

1) Say Yes To Heaven | Mature | 2818 words

Note: The main pairing is Louis/Ethan Hawke.

 Later when he’s back at the apartment with Oli, as Louis is somewhat dreamily waxing poetic about Ethan, Oli interrupts.- “Does he quote Shakespeare when you fuck?” he asks, poking at the sizzling eggs on the stove. Louis’ cheeks turn suspiciously pink. Oli peers at his face. “Oh my god, he DOES. I KNEW IT.” He triumphantly brandishes his spatula in the air.

2) Shut Your Mouth, Baby | Explicit | 3028 words

While fooling around in a closet at a New Year’s Eve party, Louis can’t seem to keep quiet. All he needs to do is hold off until midnight, when Harry will finally uncover his mouth and let him come at full volume.

3) Bank Holiday Weekend | Mature | 4135 words

Louis Tomlinson is a twenty-two year old omega who doesn’t give a shit. The omega knows his heat is coming up but still decides to attend Reading and Leeds Festival with his nineteen year old alpha co-worker Harry Styles.

4) Walk In Your Rainbow Paradise | Mature | 4151 words

Louis feels emotional after he watched Harry told the interviewer about the fish in his latest music video, leading up to him thinking about their 'secret' relationship throughout the years. Harry comes home to his husband who's feeling pissed off and needy of his comfort and warmth.

5) One | Explicit | 4188 words

Note: The main pairing is Louis/Tommy Shelby.

When omega Louis Tomlinson becomes pregnant after an unexpected encounter, he decides his only option is to flee his pack. But Tommy Shelby, pack alpha of the Peaky Blinders, might not be willing to let him go so easily.

6) Dreaming of a Green Christmas | Explicit | 4226 words

Harry opens the wrong package by mistake and finds the sex toy Louis ordered for himself. That's not an opportunity Harry can pass up on.

7) Never Felt More At Home (Then When I'm In Your Arms) | Not Rated | 5361 words

Louis and Harry are on tour with the band when Louis is struck with an unexpected heat. He's always known in the back of his mind there was something between him and his best mate, and when opportunity strikes... well, it hits hard.

8) Cat Got Your Tongue? | Explicit | 5523 words

“Who the fuck are you?” Harry screeches and jumps back in surprise. The man drops the popcorn bowl on the carpet and stands up, raising his hands in surrender, “Hey, it's me.” Harry frowns. He has never seen this man in his life. He stares at the wide blue eyes and… holy shit. There's no way. Harry rephrases his question, “what are you?"

9) I’m So Drunk On You (Baby, You’re All That I Want) | Explicit | 5875 words

A lucid celebration yet of nothing in particular, and it was that he found alluring, begged to make himself a part of. "Come on, H live a little." Louis pleaded without care for the sigh that slipped his lips, for the smile that they both formed were proof enough he'd given in. So giddy within skips toward the centre where they gathered, the smaller carried Harry close behind to join the chaos.

10) Snow At The Beach | Mature | 7885 words

The little Matthew Styles had been throwing objects into his cute omega neighbor's yard only for the adorable blue-eyed boy to come to his house to return them and talk to his father. "I'm starting to believe that he does it on purpose just so he can hug you" Harry appeared behind them and Louis smiled at him. "I wouldn't complain if it were like that"

11) Don’t Let The Fire Die | Explicit | 8850 words

Harry makes a long trip to take back what is his.

12) The Box | Explicit | 8895 words

When the signal comes, Harry dips and slides into the box, settling himself on his back with his knees bent.  Louis lifts the side of the box to close it, and as he does so Harry goes to pull his jacket from behind his back a little. The last sight that Louis is presented with before Harry is gone from view is the most gorgeous man he’s ever seen arching his back, with his head thrown upwards, mouth slightly open. And fuck. 

13) Touch Me (Like Nobody Else Does) | Mature | 11459 words

The alpha’s grin returned tenfold, deep dimples popping into his cheeks. Holy shit, he has dimples. “No, I don’t mind at all. I know where to find you when I need it back,” he said with a chuckle before leaning back into his seat. Louis let out a small giggle before nodding. “I’ll be sure it gets returned to you…?” He trailed off, one eyebrow raised at the other man. “Harry,” he replied, amusement still shining in his eyes. “And you are?” “Louis,” the omega responded before leaning back into his seat averting his eyes once again. “Thank you, really, for the charger. You’re a lifesaver. I’m not sure how I would’ve made it through without my Netflix.”

14) Cause I’m Really Not Fine At All | Mature | 13679 words

Louis Tomlinson, one of the famous members of One Direction, is involved in a car accident that caused him to have amnesia, wiping all the last five years of his life from the memory. The interesting part is he may not remember that he has a girlfriend now, yet his mind seems to think that he has been in a relationship with one of the members, Harry Styles. Harry is baffled and shocked at the situation that's thrown in his face. He finds himself learning how to be a good boyfriend for Louis. It has to be easy.. 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵?

15) Roommates | Mature | 18604 words

Louis and Harry are roommates. Harry had put up an ad for a roommate, and Louis moved in. Harry notices that Louis only survives on takeout out, and when he leaves for his shift, he cooks an extra plate of food for Louis with a note.

16) Play By The Rules | Explicit | 21835 words

“Okay,” Harry clears his throat. “Sit on the bed, um, slut.” A beat of silence passes between them as Louis raises an unimpressed eyebrow. “You want to try saying that like you mean it?” Harry pouts, jutting out his lower lip. “But I don’t mean it, Lou. I feel like I’m being mean.”

17) You Bring Blue Lights To Dreams | Explicit | 30177 words

A body slid up behind him and he tensed until he realized it was Jailen, “So… Louis’ pretty cool huh?” He whispered so Louis wouldn't hear from the other side of the barn. “I mean yeah,” Harry responded, brows furrowing together before he realized what Jailen was really saying, “Jailen no that’s not- no. Nothing’s going to happen so don’t meddle, I’m serious.” “I’m not doing anything my dear Harold, I cannot control what happens naturally. Come on Harry, I know you’ve been getting restless with the whole finding your soulmate thing, it might be time to just try and put yourself out there for a while.”

18) He's Driving Me Crazy... But... I'm Into It | Explicit | 56219 words

The boys are organising a holiday in France for Louis, and Harry is able to make the trip at the last minute thanks to Niall. While things seem to be off to a bad start between them, it seems that some of the behaviour is just pretend. And of course, Louis is annoying, and Harry is his usual calm self... But the others don't seem to understand Louis' feelings, and that's not something Harry will let pass. If they gain more than friendship, that's just a bonus.

19) Your Eyes Are Tired But Keep Them Open Cause You Wouldn’t Wanna Miss A Thing | Explicit | 137451 words

Louis is an omega in an abusive relationship everyone forced him into; he’s miserable until he meets his favorite student’s uncle, Harry, a gentle alpha with a big heart.

20) Sewn Into You | Explicit | 167485 words

Harry Styles thinks soulmates are a fairytale, or in other words-a lie. He has no interest in entertaining anything that has anything to do with the very name that had been etched along his collarbone since his eighteenth birthday. Louis Tomlinson won't be answering to another alpha for the rest of his life if he can help it. Fuck happy endings, his soul mate can choke on it. Problem is, Harry needs a personal assistant to save his family's business, Louis needs the cash to officially move off of his childhood best-friend's couch. They can manage. Surely, nothing will go wrong.

Check out our other fic rec lists by category here and by title here.

You can find other monthly roundup fic rec lists here.

[maarriiii]

Simp (Part 1) | Wilbur Soot

A/N: I hate this title. also, oh my god it’s my first ever series!!! A personal thank you to @one-reverie for easing my thoughts about making a series for the first time. Anyways, enjoy this short first chapter.

Summary: An internet interaction with a streamer leads you to a new friend.

Pairing(s): CC!TommyInnit x actor!reader, CC!TommyInnit x gender neutral!reader (platonic)

Warning(s): None.

Italics: tweets or text messages

my masterlist :))

~~

Your phone had been blowing up with notifications lately and the reason for it was quite unusualper se. It all started when a famous streamer, TommyInnit, mentioned you in one of his streams, how he thought your latest action movie was fucking awesome—his words, not yours—and how you were also awesome and gorgeous. His fans had been tagging you in various posts of clips from that moment in his stream on Instagram and Twitter. You thought it was sweet and was flattered by all the positive things they had say about you. You never replied or respond to any of it but you were very much aware. Until one day when you did.

It was in the middle of a two week break from filming. You were on YouTube trying to find something to watch while eating lunch when you came across one of his vlogs. The title ‘I Spent The Week Ruining Amsterdam’ intrigued you, therefore you clicked it. Just from the first few minutes you were already smiling, laughing and gasping at their antics. It made you want to rang a few of your friends, book a flight, and go on a boat ride in the Amsterdam canals. Needless to say, it was an entertaining 17 minutes and 22 seconds of your life.

The idea of you tweeting the video came not long after the video ended. You were washing the dishes when it just popped in your mind, a lightbulb turning on after being tinkered for awhile. You didn’t see the harm in it. A simple shoutout to this funny chaotic young man wouldn’t hurt. Hell, both of your fans would probably be ecstatic by it. With a made up mind, you hurriedly dry your plate and hands, went back to the living room where your phone resides and opened Twitter.

next holiday plans: travel to Amsterdam, rent a boat and travel the canal with some of my closest friends. thanks for the idea and the laughs @tommyinnit

It was only a few minutes later after you tweeted that when you got a text from your publicist. She revealed that you’re already trending for the tweet that you sent and went on to continue about how this would be good for your social and internet image. Although, it’s her job to think like that—and you were very grateful to have someone like Anne be your publicist—you really weren’t all that interested in it and instead asked if the person you tagged had reply to you.

He did. See for yourself.

And of course you did. You opened Twitter, checked your notifications—which was a lot—and there it was. You tapped the screen and it direct you to his tweet that of course made you laugh.

always a pleasure to help someone in need. i’m here if you need me *wink*

You typed back a reply, something simple but you hoped it was funny. It took you a few try to get the right response—being witty and funny doesn’t come easy for you.

I’ll keep that in mind. Also, you know I’m way older than you right?

Later that day, Tommy received multiple texts from his friend, his big brother you could say. Each text was either all capital letters or followed with extreme usage of exclamation mark. Tommy, with his scheming self, decided to gloat about his interaction with you and how you followed him on Twitter now.

[munson-blurbs]

Ghostin' (Steve Harrington x Fem!Reader): Chapter 5

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four

Summary: After confronting Gareth, Steve is overwhelmed with his own insecurities. But with Vecna gaining strength, his decision to leave could prove to be fatal.

Warnings: language, S4 is canon, pregnancy, light smut (18+ only)

WC: 5.3k

Divider credit to @firefly-graphics

@kaybee87 @sidthedollface2 @chelebelletx @livsters @atombombbibunny @tattooedkiss13 @manda-panda-monium @charming-winchester @corroded-hellfire @trashmouth-richie @sweet-villain @slightlyvicked @hxllfired @yogizzz @tlclick73 @thefreakofhawkins86 @sheisjoeschateau @harrypotteranna23-blog @harringr0ve @josie955 @luna-munson83 @blhemmings @lxvesickreality @palmtreesx3 @stephierro

True to his word, Gareth shows up at Family Video the next day. He’s decidedly less confident than he was at Enzo’s, perhaps because of the shame he feels from hurting your feelings. He enters the store, clearing his throat softly and getting both Steve and Robin’s attention. 

“Can we help you?” Robin starts, looking up from the latest issue of Rolling Stone. She’s used to handling the customers, since Steve typically only pays attention to the pretty women. It takes her by surprise when he steps forward with a small, “I’ve got this,” but she doesn’t question it. Not when there’s an interview with Paul McCartney calling her name. 

Steve motions for Gareth to join him in the back room, closing the door behind him. “You wanna tell me what the hell that was about yesterday?” Steve asks, placing his hands on his hips. “Treating Y/N like that? Like she’s some kind of slut?”

Gareth shakes his head. “I know, I know,” he says sullenly. “I shouldn’t have…I was just shocked. Seeing her pregnant, seeing her with you…” He looks up at Steve, eyes brimming with tears. “Eddie was like my brother. He was my role model, my best friend. And when he started dating Y/N, she became like my sister-in-law. I even used to call her that.” He chuckles lightly at the memory. “And seeing you and her together, it makes it…real. That he’s really gone, y’know?”

“I know,” Steve lets his arms fall to his sides, heart breaking for the kid in front of him. “If I could bring him back, I would.” It’s the truth. Even if it meant watching the woman he loves be happy with someone else, he’d bring Eddie back in a second. “But I promise you, man; I’m not just messing around with her. This is a serious thing, and I’m gonna do whatever I can to take care of her and the baby.”

Gareth pauses for a moment before saying, “He would’ve been a great dad.”

“The best.” Steve agrees with a nod. He can picture Eddie holding Little Bean, letting them grasp onto his finger or tug on his long curly hair without complaint. Something he’ll never get to do now. 

Both of them are quiet for a beat, soaking in an awkward silence. Finally, Gareth says, “You said something yesterday.”

“Hm?” Steve cocks his head, still thinking about Eddie and Little Bean. 

“Yesterday,” Gareth repeats, “you said ‘I don’t get off on humiliating people.’ But that’s a lie.”

“What are you talking about?” Steve’s suddenly defensive again, crossing his arms over his broad chest and furrowing his brows. “I don’t humiliate people.”

“You humiliated me.” Gareth’s voice sounds like he has sandpaper in his throat. When Steve’s expression remains confused, the younger boy continues. “My first day of freshman year. I was lost and I asked you for directions, and you said, ‘What, you want door to door service?’ Then you and your buddy picked me up and tossed me in the nearest trash can.” 

Steve’s mouth goes dry, not because he remembers. The exact opposite, actually. He has no recollection of throwing Gareth into the garbage. And not because it didn’t happen—it sounds exactly like something the old Steve would’ve done. It’s because he and Tommy spent so much time hurting other people that each event blurs with the other. 

“So, yeah,” Gareth presses on. “I feel awful that I was mean to Y/N. She didn’t deserve that. But you, King Steve?” He scoffs, “you don’t deserve her.” 

“Shit,” Steve mumbles, running his fingers through his hair. “I-I’m so sorry.” He swallows thickly, carefully considering his next words. “Look, you don’t have to believe me, or forgive me, because I was a total asshole. A world-class piece of shit. But I promise you, I’m not that guy any more.” He looks around the stockroom. “King Steve is more like the court jester now. Working a minimum wage job, getting rejected from the goddamn community college…” Not to mention being plunged into an alternate dimension and nearly being choked to death by demobats. “The point is, I got knocked down a few rungs, and I realized that I wasn’t a good person. Not even close. And every damn day, I make sure I’m becoming the man I want to be. For me, for Y/N, and for Little Bean.”

Gareth’s expression softens, his posture relaxes just a touch. A smile tugs at the corners of his mouth. “Little Bean?” 

“Yeah,” Steve grins bashfully, “it’s what she’s been calling the baby.” He thinks about Gareth’s earlier admission, about Eddie being a brother to him. “Y’know, just because Eddie’s, um, not here, doesn’t mean…I mean, you’re still gonna be Little Bean’s uncle. If you want,” he hastily adds. 

Gareth laughs. “I think Uncle Gareth has a nice ring to it.” He forces himself to meet Steve’s gaze, expression once again serious. “I still don’t really trust you.”

“I know.”

“But if she’s happy…” Gareth blows out a puff of air, shrugging his shoulders, “then I guess we’re okay.”

Okay. It doesn’t mean everything is fixed, but Steve is starting to become more comfortable with the uncertainties of life, when things aren’t wrapped up with a perfect little bow. “Thanks.” There’s nothing else to say, so he just opens the door and watches Gareth walk out the door, waving goodbye to Robin as he exits. 

“Hey, Dingus,” Robin calls back, not bothering to look up from the magazine, “you good?”

“Yep.” No, he wants to say. I knew I wasn’t good enough for Y/N, but I thought it was all in my head. Now I have confirmation that it’s true. 

“Great,” his friend replies. “There’s a stack of returns here with your name on ‘em.”

When Steve comes home that evening, he finds you in the kitchen, stirring a pot of pasta. “I know I said I’d make burgers tonight, but Little Bean had other ideas.” you tell him apologetically, placing a hand on your bump. 

Steve musters up a laugh, kissing your cheek and bending down to kiss your stomach. “Little Bean, is she blaming you again?”

You swat at Steve and scowl. “I’ll eat all this myself and make you eat cereal for dinner, I swear.” The timer goes off, and you drain the pasta in the sink. 

“Not really hungry anyway,” he says softly, shrugging off his work vest and plopping onto the couch. When you look at him quizzically, he explains. “I spoke to Gareth today.”

Your face falls, reminded of the heated exchange at Enzo’s. “Oh.”

“Yeah.” Steve fills you in on Gareth’s apology, omitting what he said about Steve not deserving you. He knows you’ll deny it and rush to reassure him, even if you agree with your friend. “He just misses Eddie—not that it’s an excuse to say what he said.” He sighs, watching you ladle marinara sauce onto the penne. “If I ask you something, do you promise to be honest with me?”

You bring your attention to the dejected man on the sofa. “Of course.”

“Was I…did I ever make fun of you in high school?” He stumbles over his words, embarrassed that he even has to ask this question. “Because apparently Tommy and I tossed Gareth into a garbage can, and I didn’t even remember.”

“I don’t think so,” you purse your lips as you try to reflect on your Hawkins High days. “It was more of Tommy being a dick and you not doing anything to stop him.” 

“Shit, really?” Steve buries his head in his hands. “What did we do?”

You bite your lip uneasily. “Tommy used to always call me and Eddie ‘Freak and Lady Freak,’ and you would just laugh and high-five him. But you never, like, called us that yourself.”

“Still wasn’t right,” he mutters. “I’m so, so sorry. I never should’ve done that. I should’ve told him to shut the fuck up and leave you alone.” He gnaws on a fingernail anxiously. “Christ, I was such an awful person.” A tear slides down his cheek, and you instinctively put down your dinner preparation to comfort him, stopping only when he puts his hands up. “No, see, this is what I didn’t want to happen!” He raises his voice, taking you aback.

“What are you talking about?” Frustration boils up in your chest, and you try to force it back down and keep a calm tone. “You’re not making any sense!” He says nothing, not even bothering to make eye contact. “Steve, you’re not in high school anymore. You’re not the same person you were back then.”

Steve scoffs, pressing his palms to his knees and standing up. “Forget it, okay? Just forget I said anything.” He grabs his car keys from where he’d tossed them on the counter. “I’m going for a drive. Gotta clear my head. Don’t wait up.” 

If you weren’t six months pregnant, you probably would have been able to get to the door in time to stop him, but your slight waddle doesn’t allow for sprinting. Instead, you watch pathetically from the sofa as he lets the door slam behind him, listening to the sounds of his angry footsteps until they fade to silence. The bowls of pasta sit untouched on the counter, and as nauseated as you feel from the argument, you know that Little Bean needs nutrients. You cover Steve’s in plastic wrap, placing it in the refrigerator, before digging into your dinner. There has to be more to the story, you just know it, but you can’t do anything else with Steve gone. 

You feel a surge of anger pulse through your body, making you push your food away. Steve’s supposed to be here, with you, and he walked out. Just left you alone without a clue where he was disappearing to. For months, he had no obligation to stay, and he did. He’d barely left your side until you practically dropped off the face of the Earth after discovering your pregnancy. And now that he’d taken you on a date, kissed you, confessed his love for you…now he decides to bolt?

Tears brim in your eyes as you take in how suddenly alone you are. You’d thought you’d have a nice, relaxing dinner together–maybe discuss the status of your relationship, since it clearly was not following a typical timeline. But that dream has been dashed in an instant. Picking up the phone, you sniffle and try to stifle your crying.

“Hey, Robin, it’s me,” you say, attempting to hide your irrational annoyance at getting her answering machine. “Um, Steve left here and he was pretty angry. If he stops by your place, just let me know. Please.” You clear your throat. “Okay, thanks. Bye.”

Exhaustion overtakes you–a feeling you’ve become all-too acquainted with during your pregnancy. It’s hard to believe that you used to start your evenings at 10 PM, and now you’re ready to go to bed at 7:30.

You’re too tired to even put on pajamas, so you slip into bed in your jeans and t-shirt. The last thing you think of before falling asleep is how you and Little Bean will manage on by yourselves.

At first, Steve doesn’t have a destination in mind; he plans on driving around until he clears his head. But his subconscious has other ideas, and he finds himself pulling up in front of the Munson trailer. It’s dark, with Eddie’s Uncle Wayne probably at work. Steve kills the engine and watches Forest Hills Trailer Park dissolve into darkness as his headlights fade out.

“Fuck!” he yells out, slamming his hands against the steering wheel. “Fuck it all!” He glances around the trailer park, dimly lit with flickering streetlights. A dog barks; a woman who sounds like she’s smoked two packs a day for the last fifty years screams at it to shut up. Steve steps out of the car and leans up against it for a minute before realizing that he’s been staring at the trailer door, as if expecting Eddie to come barreling out. Probably saying something ridiculous like, “Take a picture, Harrington; it’ll last longer.” And Dustin would cackle like it was the funniest joke he’d ever heard. Steve can’t help but crack a smile at the thought, but there’s a pang in his heart when he remembers that it can’t happen.

He’s pulled from his thoughts and his pulse quickens when he hears some rustling coming from the bushes, gripping the car door handle in case he needs to make a getaway. He relaxes when he sees it’s only Wayne, too relieved to consider the fact that the man’s truck is nowhere in sight.

“Mr. Munson!” Steve calls out. “It’s me; Steve Harrington. One of Eddie’s, um, friends.” Friends. Because after a week enduring the worst trauma of their lives, that’s what they were.

“I know who you are, boy,” Wayne growls, crossing his arms as he approaches Steve. “You’re the punk who’s trying to take Eddie’s place, hm? Moving in on his girl, acting like the father of his kid. What are you doing here? Gonna sleep in his goddamn bed, too?”

“N-No, sir,” Steve stutters, hands clammy. “I was just going for a drive–” But he pauses when he sees the blood seeping from Wayne’s eyes; no, not Wayne’s eyes–Vecna’s. “I’m not even asleep,” he muses.

Vecna’s horrible laugh crackles through the air. “No, Steve. You’re not. I’m healing, getting stronger every day. And I might not be able to hurt you yet, but I will.” Vines take their shape down his limbs, snaking around like they’re choking him. “You may think that your inevitable death will be the end, but for me, it is only the beginning.”

Steve can only blink, feeling his legs trembling as he sinks down onto the muddy grass. 

“You see,” Vecna continues. The ground shakes with each step he takes. “I need to keep feasting on the town of Hawkins until I have regained all of my powers. It starts with you,” he points a gnarled finger towards Steve, “and I bet even dumb old King Steve can figure out who will be next.”

“Not Y/N,” Steve manages, summoning all of the courage he can. “She’ll fight you. She’ll fight you with everything she has, because she has Little Bean.”

Vecna lets out a low rumble. “She is strong, yes, because she knows she has worth to someone–her baby. This is why I need to start with someone weaker. Someone like you, who knows he only causes harm to the people he loves.”

“Th-That’s not true. I’ve changed. I’m not that kinda guy anymore,” he echoes your words from earlier, hoping that both he and the monster will believe them.

“Oh, but have you?” Another soul-sucking laugh. “Tell me, Steve. When Dustin asked you to substitute for Lucas at Hellfire, what was your response?” A pause of utter silence precedes his next statement. “Just like with Gareth, right? You don’t remember? Allow me to fill in the gaps.” A memory floods Steve’s senses. He’s suddenly back behind the counter at Family Video, phone cradled between his shoulder and his ear.

“Just move your date this one time!” Dustin’s voice bleats through the receiver. “Come on!”

“What, to hang out with you and Eddie ‘The Freak’ Munson? Uh, yeah…I’ll pass,” he hears himself say, cringing at his condescending tone.

The visual abruptly ends, and he’s thrust back into the trailer park. “You see?” Vecna sneers. “Not only did you ignore a friend in need to go on a meaningless date, but you insulted his friend while you did it.

“So, Steve,” the monster is right in front of him now, and he feels his hot breath on his face, “have you really changed? Or is that a lie you tell yourself so you can pretend to deserve her?”

There’s that word again: deserve. Deep down, Steve knows he doesn’t deserve you. That you’re only his—if you are still his after the way he left you—because Eddie is dead. 

“You can spare yourself the pain and come with me, Steve,” Vecna grumbles, holding out his hand. “We all know she’s better off without you. Everyone is.”

Steve swallows thickly, absorbing the information. A part of him is tempted to give up and give in. But then he imagines your face when you find out that he’s gone, too. Left on the trailer park grounds, nothing more than a heap of broken bones. He pictures your beautiful, perfect smile that feels like it heals him from the inside out. If he stays in the Upside Down forever, he’ll never get to see it again. 

Worse, he’ll be the reason why you’re crying. 

“No!” Steve shouts, a bit hoarsely at first. “No, I won’t go with you!” He scrambles to his feet, pushing through his nerves. “Let me go! I said, LET ME GO!”

Vecna tilts his head to the left, raising his arm. Steve feels vines slowly snake around his feet, gluing him to the browning grass. “I offered you the easy way,” he snarls, “and you opted not to take it. You are even more foolish than you appear.”

“Get…these…off,” Steve weakly protests as another set of vines pins him to a nearby tree. They wrap around his throat, restricting his air supply. “I’m not leaving her…not…leaving…Little Bean…” 

“You have no choice in this matter.” A low hiss escapes him as he winces, still not used to his weakened powers. “Besides, you already left, didn’t you? Ran away like the coward you are. You should stay far, far away from her.”

Dizziness from the lack of oxygen creeps into Steve’s head. He’s nearly unconscious when he sees a bright space open up behind Vecna’s body. 

“Steve!” Dustin calls. “Steve, are you there?” A brief pause. “Where’s the tape? We need the goddamn tape!!!”

“I have it!” Max. Her vision is still compromised, but she’s never stopped fighting. There’s an exchange, and the click of a Walkman closing. All at once, the intro to Black Dog reverberates through the air.

“Run, Steve, run!!!” Dustin cries out, and Lucas and Max echo his plea. “Run for your life!”

“We love you, Steve! We love you, and Y/N loves you, and you need to live!” Lucas’s voice cracks as he begs him to fight back.

Max pipes up, steady and direct in her instructions. “Listen to the music, Steve,” she tells him. “It’ll give you the strength to survive.”

The glowing space starts to shrink, and Steve instinctively starts to panic. He reminds himself to do as Max said, breathing in the lyrics as he struggles against the tightening vines.

All I ask for when I pray 

A steady rollin' woman won't come my way 

Need a woman gonna hold my hand 

Tell me no lies, make me a happy man

He remembers the joy both you and he felt listening to the song, secrets and tension melting away with each note. A new start for you, for Steve, and for you and Steve. He remembers coming with you to your ultrasound appointments, watching in awe at the tiny being growing inside of you. He remembers the way you kissed him, like your lips were meant to mold into his.

The vines begin to loosen, perhaps from Vecna’s more fragile state, but mostly due to Steve’s sheer will to live. His feet touch the ground again, and as soon as he feels the shock on his heels, he’s running faster than he’s ever run in his life. All he can think about is you and Little Bean.

Vecna howls in frustration as Steve narrowly escapes his clutches. Steve can only register pain as he slams back down to the earth, panting and shivering. Dustin throws his arms around him, and Lucas grabs Max’s hand and brings her towards their oft-unwilling babysitter. The three of them hold him well after his shaking subsides.

“H-How did you…” Steve starts, but he’s unable to finish his sentence before bursting into a fresh round of tears.

“We were at Max’s,” Lucas explains, rubbing Steve’s back and lowering the headphones from his ears. “Dustin thought he saw something weird, and when we looked out the window, we saw you…levitating. Like Max did at Billy’s grave.” 

Steve nods slowly. “But…but…the song…” It’s still playing, and Dustin leans over to click the pause button. The quiet seeps through eerily, but it allows Steve to formulate a coherent thought.

“It was Billy’s Zeppelin tape,” Max says softly. “I kept some of his stuff, and when Dustin told us that Black Dog was your safety song, I made sure to always have it nearby. Just in case.” Steve musters up all of his energy to ruffle her hair, heart soaring when she giggles. It feels good to make someone happy.

Steve looks at the kids, eyes wet and vision blurred. “Thank you,” he whispers. “I owe you guys my life.”

Lucas shakes his head. “Nah, man. You know how many times you’ve saved our asses? Let’s just call it even.”

“You’re a good one, Sinclair,” Steve says with a smile. He turns to Max. “Quit being so hard on him, all right?”

“We’ll see,” Max replies, but she giggles again as she says it.

Steve sits up suddenly, bracing himself and gritting his teeth as the world spins for a moment. “I gotta get home,” he blurts out. “I gotta get back to Y/N. I just left her alone, didn’t tell her what I was doing or where I was going…”

“You sure you’re okay to drive, big guy?” Dustin asks, furrowing his brows with concern. “I can always call my mom and ask her to take you.”

“Or I can drive!” Max pipes up, and everyone reacts with a resounding “no!”

“Jesus, you were bad enough when you could see,” Dustin mutters.

Steve wipes his hands on his pants, grimacing as the dirt smears on clean denim. “I’ll be fine,” he reassures them. He begins to take the headphones off from around his neck, then stops. “Can I, uh, borrow this?” he asks Max. “I’ll return it tomorrow. Just wanna make sure…for the drive home, y’know?” He knows how important it is for her to have this piece of Billy. 

She nods, reaching out for Steve’s hand. He takes it, squeezing gingerly. “Of course.”

Steve can’t get back to the apartment fast enough. He nearly snaps the key trying to unlock the door, and he flings it open so quickly that it slams against the wall. It’s loud enough to get your attention, but he doesn’t hear any reaction from you.

“Y/N?” he calls out tentatively, blood running cold when there’s no response. “Y/N!” He’s shouting now, yelling your name over and over.

He’s got her, he thinks. He sensed a moment of weakness and went after her, and I wasn’t here to save her. He dashes into the bedroom, a last resort before descending into complete panic, and breathes a sigh of relief when he sees you in bed, rubbing the sleep from your beautiful eyes.

“Steve? What the hell is going–oomph!” You’re interrupted by his lips crashing onto yours, hands cradling your cheeks. You can taste the salt from his tears as he sobs into you; he thought he’d cried himself dry, but seeing you safe and sound brought on a new batch. When you part, you can see the worry creasing his face. “Where were you?”

“He’s coming after you next,” Steve ignores your question, unable to hold back what he knows. “After me, he’s coming after you. And then the rest of Hawkins until he’s strong enough to conquer the world.”

“You saw him.” It’s a statement; you’re not asking. “And you didn’t have your music.”

Steve relays that evening’s events, stumbling over his words as he admits, “He said he’s starting with me because I’m…because I’m weaker.”

You look at him, puzzled. How could he be weaker than a hormonal pregnant woman with a dead baby daddy? “What do you mean?”

“I mean, the only reason we can even be together is because Eddie’s…he’s…I never would have tried to get with you if he was here,” Steve stammers. “And it doesn’t seem fair, y’know? He…he dies, and I get his girl?” He stands up and paces the length of your bedroom. “I’m disgusting, and I don’t deserve you. Everyone thinks so.”

Your heart plummets at his vulnerability. “Who said that?” you ask, voice hardly more than a whisper. 

“Gareth and…and him.” Steve can’t bring himself to make eye contact with you. He doesn’t need to clarify who him is. 

“Do you think I should be happy?”

Steve’s thrown off by your question. “What? Of course.”

“Do you think Eddie would want me to be sad forever? To never have another partner again?” you continue. 

“No. He…he wouldn’t want that.”

You motion for Steve to sit back down on the bed, and you take both of his hands in yours. “You, Steve Harrington, make me happy. When I thought life wasn’t worth living, you showed me that it was. When I pushed away, you pulled me back. And, yeah, this,” you point between the two of you, “wouldn’t be happening if Eddie survived. But, Steve? Torturing ourselves isn’t going to bring him back. It isn’t going to make us miss him any less. The best we can do is keep living. For him, for us, and for Little Bean.”

Steve lets go of one of your hands to feel your belly. “Not fair,” he teases gently. “You know I’ll do anything for Little Bean.”

You lean in and kiss him, bringing your lips to his ear to murmur, “Will you let me show you how much you mean to me?”

His eyes widen. “Are you sure? We don’t have to do that if you don’t want to.” But a slight twitch behind his fly gives away his true feelings. 

“I want to,” you coo, nibbling on his earlobe and sliding your palm under his shirt and up to his hairy chest. “As long as you do.”

Reflexively, Steve nods, but his gaze quickly goes back to your bump. “We won’t hurt Little Bean, right?” 

You giggle. “Not at all. I promise.” Lifting your shirt above your head and tossing it to the floor, you straddle Steve’s thighs. His hands roam the expanse of your torso, and he wastes no time unhooking your bra. Your body waits for the feeling of lips latching onto your breasts, the way Eddie would’ve done, but Steve runs his fingers over the peaks, pinching them slightly. You moan out with pleasure in what will be the first of many reminders that different doesn’t inherently mean bad. 

Steve’s shirt is the next to go, and he sheds his jeans immediately after, grateful for the relief. As you palm him over his briefs, you’re hit with a strange pang of sadness; it’s a stupid comparison to make, but Eddie always wore boxers. He’d buy the most ridiculous ones he could find; only you two knew that under that metal façade lurked a pair of Bugs Bunny shorts. But this is Steve—Steve who wears briefs instead of boxers, whose hands are smooth instead of calloused, who smells like Drakkar Noir and hairspray instead of drugstore cologne and Newports. 

Different, but good. So, so good. 

He’s patient as you step down to wriggle out of your maternity jeans, but his eyes never leave your body. He drinks you in, pupils blown wide, and pulls you back onto his lap with a soft, “all mine.” The plush of his lips presses against your neck, and you thread your fingers through his hair, whimpering at his touch.

“I can’t wait until you can see me not pregnant,” you bite your lower lip, hyper aware of the way your bare bump nudges against his flat stomach. Being naked in front of someone for the first time was scary enough, let alone being nearly seven months along.

“No,” he says simply, continuing to kiss down to your collarbone while placing a large palm atop your belly. “I love the way you look. So beautiful…I don’t know what to do with myself.” He pulls away for a second to look you in the eyes; his are shiny and wide. “I love you so much, Y/N.”

“I love you, too, Steve.” The phrase followed by his name instead of Eddie’s is a new sensation, but it rolls off of your tongue easily. “I love you, I love you, I love you.” You punctuate each repetition with a kiss to his eager lips. You don’t even realize you’re crying until he wipes a tear from your cheek.

“What’s wrong? Is it–am I–” 

You shake your head. “Please don’t get mad at me.” Taking a deep breath, you start to confess. “I’m scared, Steve. I’m scared that you’re only here because you feel like you have to be, or that this is just some kind of trauma bond, and as soon as Vecna’s gone, you’ll figure out that you don’t really have feelings for me.” You cradle your belly in your hands. “And I’m worried that when you see how hard it is to raise a kid, never mind someone else’s kid, you’ll…”

“Hey, hey. C’mere,” he says, readjusting you so you’re sitting across his thighs. He rubs your back gently. “Did I ever tell you about my big, crazy dream of my future?”

“Six kids and a Winnebago?”

“Yeah,” he laughs lightly, “that’s the one. I’ve been thinking about it more lately. That’s what I thought that’s what family was: Mom, Dad, shit-ton of kids going on vacation together. And maybe it is sometimes, I dunno,” he shrugs. “But I realized that one of the reasons why I love you so much is because you gave me what I always wanted.” He stares into your eyes lovingly. “You and Little Bean–you’re my family.”

You scrunch up your face in confusion. “You love me because I’m having a baby?”

“No—shit—I mean, I do love that you’re having a baby, but that’s not why I love you. Let me start over.” He tosses his hair from his eyes. “I love you because no matter what’s going on in this dimension or any other, I feel safe with you. I love you because you’re patient, and kind, and thoughtful. I love you because you jumped into this crazy monster-fighting world without hesitating, just to protect the people you care about.” He pauses, taking your hands in his. “I love you because you’re you, Y/N. And when I’m with you, I can just be me.”

“Well, that’s good,” you reply, resting your head on his shoulder. “Because I love you just as you are. Just please don’t ever leave like you did tonight again.”

“I promise, baby. Never, ever again.” Steve looks down at you, taking you all in with his golden brown eyes. “And, Y/N? I…I miss him, too.” His last sentence lingers in the air; you’re not quite sure how to respond. “I don’t know if I’ll ever stop. Isn’t that dumb? I knew him for a week and I miss him like I knew him my whole life.”

“‘S not dumb at all.” You lace your fingers with his and kiss his bare shoulder. “Like I said, the stuff we went through together bonds us forever, y’know?”

“Yeah.” He sighs, averting his gaze from yours. “Do you think I could just hold you tonight? It’s not that I don’t wanna do…this…but I want to make it special.”

“Of course, Stevie.” While you’re disappointed, you’re a little relieved. The last time you did this, you and Eddie created Little Bean. And then Eddie was gone forever.

You curl up into Steve’s arms, feeling yourself drift off to sleep.

But not before you hear the chimes.

--

[greatwyrmgold]

Halcyon Dreams

When you watch any artist for a long enough time, you start to notice patterns in their work—methods they reuse, ideas they return to, themes they fixate on. Watching Harris Bomberguy's plagiarism video made me think about that.

The obvious point of comparison is that Tommy Tallarico exposeé masquerading as a video about a funny oof, since that is the last video Mr. Bomberguy put on YouTube before the plagiarism video. But watching the ROBLOX_OOF.mp4 had reminded me of an even older hbomberguy video, Halcyon Dreams: The Legacy of Dragon's Lair.

The thesis of that video is similar to ROBLOX_OOF.mp4 and Plagiarism and You(Tube). It's about how people with money and fame can use those things to erase the contributions of others, claiming that they alone are responsible for the accomplishments of entire teams.

In the introduction and conclusion of Halcyon Dreams, Mr. Bomberguy mentions how Geoffrey of Monmouth claimed that Stonehenge was constructed by a single legendary wizard, rather than a bunch of skilled but otherwise unremarkable masons and architects.

He compares the way Don Bluth receives credit and recognition for projects that dozens of other animators and other artists worked on (and, in the case of Dragon's Lair, programmers and other technicians). He compares Bluth to Merlin, and it wouldn't be hard to apply that same analogy to Tommy Tallarico or any of the youtubers mentioned in the latest video.

But there's a crucial difference. OOF and Plagiarism are focused on Tallarico and the plagiarists, on Merlin, on showing the depth of the lies by these self-proclaimed wizards, focusing on the man behind the curtain. And Halcyon Dreams does talk about Don Bluth's wizardry for the first bit of the video, but then he pivots to someone else. One of the architects that helped him build Dragon's Henge.

Rick Dyer has similarities to the wizards. Like Tallarico, he named his company after himself. Like Bluth, he mortgaged his house to fund an ambitious creative project, after leaving a more famous company. But there are two crucial, interlinked differences between Dyer and the wizards. First is how few people have herd his name, second is how his creative project failed.

Most of Halcyon Dreams is about the Halcyon, and about Thayer's Quest and Kingdom: Shadoan, the remnants of Dyer's ambitious plan. It's the story of Rick Dyer, or part of it. Most of the video isn't focused on anything directly related to his thesis; Dyer's story isn't really a story about stolen valor. He just talks about Rick Dyer's creation, and just brings up the thesis to explain why he thinks it should be talked about.

OOF and Plagiarism are about people left in obscurity as others take credit for their work, in the sense that they talk about people taking credit for work done by obscure people. Halcyon Dreams is about that, in the sense that it talks about someone left in obscurity as someone took credit for (the most successful part of) his work.

If you want a palette cleanser after watching Plagiarism and You(Tube), I'd like to recommend Halcyon Dreams.

[tropes-and-tales-archives]

Whistle Down the Wind, Chapter Ten

Word Count: 4503

TW:  Idiots in love, angst, smut (PiV, protected). 18+ only.

AN:  Part of a series.  The series masterlist here.

You were late.  Again.

To be fair, though, it wasn’t your fault this time.  When your plane landed at LaGuardia, it ended up taxiing for forty minutes until it found an available gate, and then you had to sprint to baggage claim.  And then you had to find a taxi, and when you did, traffic was so bad that the driver shot into New Jersey and took I-95 to get to Staten Island.

It didn’t matter, as long as you got there eventually.  Sometimes you had to take the long way round.

********

It was a subdued Thanksgiving, which suited Sonny just fine.  Theresa’s daughters, since the divorce, had to split their holidays between their parents, so they were with their father.  Theresa herself had opted to stay in Connecticut and host her own wine-based, solo Thanksgiving for herself.  Gina and her latest boyfriend had stopped in for a quick dinner but had left to go to his family’s house on the other end of the island.  Bella and her baby – a little girl named Moira – were taking a nap upstairs in her childhood bedroom, exhausted by the baby’s awful sleep schedule.  That left Sonny parents and Tommy in the living room, watching the football game and dozing off from their respective turkey comas.

Sonny was so exhausted that he was having trouble sleeping.  It had been an awful year.  He had an undercover assignment with a men’s shelter that left him shaken to his core about the thin possibility of redemption for lost souls.

His sergeant had also been gunned down and killed.  They never replaced him, though, so SVU was running perpetually short-handed.  He rarely had time off, he never had time to recover from one case to the next, and his commanding officer seemed pretty cavalier about the mental wellness of her detectives.

If he ever needed his best friend, it was now, but he respected your choice to move to L.A.

He kept in touch with you, of course.  He called and texted, and the two of you had a few video chat sessions.  You showed him your cramped little apartment a few blocks from the ocean, and once you had a chat from London, where you were working on a limited episode run for a streaming service. 

He loved seeing you, but it left him heart-sore.  Seeing you on the screen of his laptop could not compare to the genuine article.

He held back a lot of his work struggles.  He didn’t tell you how lonely he was, how much he missed his friend.  He didn’t want to make you regret your choice.  All the same, you seemed to sense when he was at his lowest, because a new playlist always seemed to appear for him to bolster his flagging spirits.

The best playlists, though, were the ones he was able to buy after you started your stint on the west coast.  You got work – first with the limited run series, then with a bare-bones action film, then with a larger film.  You scored a documentary, and the haunting piano and string-based score was nominated at some film festivals.  Sonny bought every soundtrack and score that had your name on it. 

He set up a news alert for your name and got some traffic.  The best was a profile about new up-and-comers.  It was a group shot of everyone in the piece, but he was able to crop everyone else out on his computer.  You looked amazing in it:  hair down and styled, in a chic tuxedo tailored to your form, with a slight smile on your face.

Still, he missed you.  And on days like Thanksgiving, he felt your absence more keenly.

He sat with his parents and Tommy for a bit, half-heartedly watching the Lions play.  He wondered what you were doing.  Probably hanging out with your new friends, eating the authentic Mexican food you were always raving about.

He stood up abruptly and made his way down to the rec room in the basement.  Most holidays – and summers when you were in college – that’s where you and Sonny ended up.  It was your movie hub:  just the two of you curled up on the couch together, under his nonna’s scratchy acrylic crocheted blanket (because he cranked the air to an uncomfortable degree on purpose), watching a movie and ignoring the tension between the two of you.  Well, he knew it was tension now.  At the time, he had just thought it was him.

He sprawled out across the old couch and turned on the TV, flipping through the channels until he found something.  “Planes, Trains, and Automobiles.”  Sonny smiled.  It was one of your favorite movies, and he settled down and watched it.  If his mind wandered, it wandered back to your final week in the city.  Those few final days you had spent together, mostly in his bed (and in his shower and on his couch and once on his kitchen counter).  He replayed those moments over and over, but the details had grown hazy over time.  All he could vividly remember was the feeling of completion and contentment when you had fallen asleep beside him.

The movie was about halfway done when he heard people talking upstairs – laughter and little shrieks of joy.  He guessed that Moira was awake and his mother was cooing over her.  Or maybe Tommy and his dad were really getting into the Lions game.

He heard the basement door open and someone take a few tentative steps down the creaky stairs.  It must be time for dessert and coffee, but Sonny wasn’t hungry.

“I’ll be up in a bit, ma,” he called over the back of the couch, focused on the screen in front of him. 

“I’m not your ma, stretch,” a familiar voice replied in a teasing lilt, and he shot up into a sitting position just in time to see you descend the rest of the steps. ********

Your first thought was that you broke him.  He stared at you over the back of the couch so long without saying anything, you worried that he had died in place.

Your second thought, as you looked him over was, Christ, he looks exhausted.

Sonny was as handsome as ever.  His hair was a little greyer, but it made him hotter, in your opinion.  It was soft and tousled, unstyled – your favorite version of his hair.  His eyes were as blue as the ocean.

But he looked pale, and he had dark circles under his eyes, and the lines around his eyes were deeper than the last time you saw him.  You knew that his job wasn’t easy, and you knew from Bella that it had been more difficult than usual.  You worried that you hadn’t made things easier on him either.

He continued to stare at you, and your eyes flicked to the TV.  It was one of your favorite holiday movies, and you made a little cry of delight.  You walked around to the couch and made to sit down to watch, but Sonny shot to his feet and pulled you into a fierce hug.  He wrapped his long arms around you and squeezed you so hard you thought your ribs would break again. 

“You’re really here,” he muttered into your hair.

“I am,” you replied.  Your face was pressed against his chest, and you breathed him in.  He wore a cologne that always made you think of growing things – a sort of fresh, green smell that combined with his soap and his own body chemistry.  “I would have been here sooner, but traffic was a nightmare.”

He squeezed you to him for another moment, then pushed you away, his hands firmly placed on your upper arms.  “No one told me,” he said, looking you over.  “You didn’t tell me.”

“I wanted to surprise you.”  You suddenly felt shy underneath the scrutiny of his gaze, and you ducked your head.

He moved both of his hands to either side of your face.  “It’s the best surprise ever,” he declared, and he leaned down to place a gentle kiss on your lips.  You sighed and kissed him back.  You had missed him so much.

He tilted your head, deepening the kiss.  You felt him part his lips and run the tip of his tongue along your lower lip, but before you could open your mouth to him, the basement door swung open again.  A voice – Bella’s – yelled down that coffee and dessert were being served.

“And stop making out, you perverts,” she added for good measure, and you ignored her cackling laughter with all the dignity you could muster. 

********

Sonny sat across from you at the dining room table as everyone gathered for pumpkin pie and coffee.  You immediately scooped baby Moira from Bella’s arms, claiming that you had to make up for lost time.  The baby grabbed at your hair and tried to shove her chubby fist in your mouth.  She was completely enamored with you.

Baby Moira wasn’t the only one.  Sonny felt like he would never be able to look at you enough.  Your hair was just a shade messy – he knew it was from your cross-country flight, but it looked exactly like your usual post-sex hair, and it made him feel more turned on than he would usually like while sitting with his family at the dining room table. 

You were in relaxed jeans and a button-down flannel shirt, partially unbuttoned and revealing a lace-trimmed camisole underneath.  You looked completely comfortable, and maybe for the first time since Sonny met you – completely comfortable with yourself.  You had a relaxed air about you.  Maybe it was all the sunshine.  More likely, it was all those tamales that you raved about.

Bella dished out pie while Dom Senior poured mugs of coffee and passed them around.  Sonny’s mother went to the kitchen and came back a few minutes later bearing a plate of reheated leftovers.  She placed it in front of you with a smile.

“I’m sorry I was late,” you said with a rueful shrug.  “Our plane didn’t have a gate and it took forever to get here.”

His mother waved off your apology.  “We’re just glad you’re here.”

You tucked into your leftovers one handed, your other arm cradling the baby as she dozed off against you.  It made Sonny smile to see it.  You were always such a natural with his nieces – even this one who had just met you.

“How long are you staying?” Dom Senior asked. 

You chewed a forkful of stuffing and swallowed before you answered.  “I fly back on Sunday morning.”  Sonny felt his stomach drop.  You were only here for a few days, and it already felt like time was slipping away too quickly.

You glanced over at him and caught his gaze before you continued.  “I have a few more months on my sublet here in New York, but after that, I’m going to move back.”  You gave him a smile.  “I’ve made great connections, and I’ll probably have to travel back to L.A. more than I’d like, but plenty of composers and musicians live elsewhere.”

Bella scoffed and gestured to the window where an icy rain was pattering against the glass.  “You’re trading in warm weather and sunshine for this?”

“Aren’t you the one who gave me a list of reasons why L.A. was worse than New York?” you teased back.

“I just liked living vicariously through you,” she shot back.  “How many friends run into one of the Marvel Chrises on the way to the bathroom?”

You nodded and took another bite of stuffing.  “True.  But I can’t keep up with the people out there.  Too many diets and workouts.  Everyone assumes I’m a wannabe actress and critiques me accordingly.”  You scowled at your plate.  “One producer told me that I was a ‘New York five but an L.A. two,’ and that was after he realized I was there to score his garbage movie.”

Sonny felt a flare of hot anger to hear that some guy made you feel bad about yourself.  “You’re a Staten Island eleven,” he blurted, making the table erupt in laughter.  He felt his face growing red, and his dad reached over and clapped him hard on the back.

“Smooth, son,” he chuckled, but Sonny’s mom reached over from the other side and smacked her husband. 

“Like you ever did any better,” she teased.  Dom Senior snatched her hand as she tried to draw it back and kissed the back of it.

“I did good enough to get you,” he said with a wide grin, making Bella groan in embarrassment.  Sonny, though, could only watch you across the table.

********

Sonny’s family was old-fashioned, despite having a grandchild out of wedlock and a daughter who had recently divorced.  As such, you and Sonny put up what you hoped was a convincing charade about how he was going to drive you to a friend’s place where you were crashing for the next few days. 

The reality, of course, was that within seconds of returning to his apartment, he had you pressed against his door, the two of you kissing fiercely and pawing at each other like you were each drowning.  There were too many sensations and emotions:  the feel of his warm hands as they untucked your shirt and camisole to touch your back.  His mouth on yours, his lips impossibly soft.  His thigh, as it pressed between your own legs and parted them.

You reached down and tugged at his grey Henley, breaking the kiss long enough to pull it over his head, ruffling his hair even more.  You tossed it aside and then his mouth was back on you, kissing the sensitive spot at the junction of your neck and shoulder, sending chills through you.

“I missed you so much, doll,” he whispered against your neck.  His breath was hot and sent another tremor through you.

You ran your fingers through his hair.  “I missed you more,” you breathed back.

Sonny fumbled at your shirts.  His fingers scrabbled at your button-up, and he mumbled curses when he couldn’t get it undone fast enough.  When he did get it unbuttoned, he tried to pull it off of you, but your sleeves got caught and he cursed again as he unbuttoned the cuffs. 

You pushed him off of you so that you could handle it, so he shifted his attention to his own clothes.  He tugged his undershirt over his head, but slowed and then stopped completely to watch you as you removed your camisole.

You bent over and pulled your boots off, then straightened up to unbutton your jeans.  You looked up at Sonny and laughed at him.  His chest was rising and falling with his shuddering breaths, and his mouth hung slightly agape.

He moved swiftly to you.  He pressed you back against the door, latching his mouth on the pulse point.  You laid your hands on his bare chest and tugged on his sparse smattering of blond hair there.

Sonny’s hands drifted down to your hips and finished unzipping your jeans.  He unlatched his mouth from your neck and worked his way down, pushing your pants down over your hips, down you thighs.  His ran his warm palms over your bare legs before he pulled your jeans over your feet and tossed them aside.

He knelt in front of you, and you laid your hands on the top of his head.  You tangled your fingers in his hair, tugging it gently, trying to get him to stand back up.  He looked up at you, in just your underwear, while he was still half-clothed.

“You need to catch up, Dominick,” you said.  You loved the way his sunny blue eyes turned dark when you called him by his first name. 

Instead of responding to you, he slid an arm behind you, cupping your ass in his large hand and pulled your lower half towards him until his face was pressed into your lower belly.  You ran your nails over his scalp, drawing low groans from him that vibrated through you.  His hot breath made the throbbing between your legs increase almost painfully.  You felt dangerously close to losing your legs underneath you.

“S-Sonny,” you stuttered as he moved his mouth a fraction lower.  “I need you.”

“You have me,” he murmured against you.  He licked along the lace waistband of your panties, making your knees buckle just a bit. 

You tightened your grip on his hair, drawing another groan from him.  You felt almost dizzy with desire and had to press the back of your head against the door and take a few deep breaths to calm yourself.

“Sonny, we have plenty of time,” you told him in a strangled voice.  “But right now, I really need you.”

His other hand landed on your hip, tugging at the edge of your panties and pressing wet kisses on each new inch of exposed skin.  He didn’t reply, too focused on moving his mouth closer and closer to his target.

“Damnit, Dominick!” you yelled, and you pulled his hair hard enough to get his attention.  He looked up and shot you a wounded look, like a puppy that had been scolded, but whatever he saw on your face made him stand up and press the length of his body against yours.  You pulled his face to yours and kissed him breathlessly, without any art or ability.  Just his mouth with his soft lips against yours, tongues sliding against each other, breathing each other’s moans.

“I need you,” you repeated, panting against him.  He shifted his head back to the nook against your neck.  “Please.  I…I’ve waited for this for months.  I’ve missed you, Sonny.  So, so much.”  You wrapped your hand along the back of his neck, stroking between his hairline and the knobs of the top of his spine.  You felt rather than heard Sonny sniffling against you, and you felt the first tears when they hit your shoulder.

“I missed you too, doll,” he said.  “And it’s been a tough year.”  His voice was watery, and you tightened your grip around him, pulling him as tight as you could.  He took deep breaths against you as he tried to regain his composure, and once he was calmed, you took his face between both of your hands.  You forced him to face you, and you looked into his brilliant blue eyes, now rimmed and swollen from his tears.

“I love you, Dominick,” you said solemnly.  “I’m sorry I wasn’t here for you.”

He shook his head gently between your hands.  “I’m glad you went, doll.”  His eyes crinkled at the corners as he smiled at you.  “I’d never want to hold you back.”

You couldn’t help but smile back at him – his namesake sunniness was contagious.  “I’m here now though.”

“You are.”  He reached down to grasp the back of your thighs, and you jumped up into his arms.  You bit back a moan at the sensation of him pressed against your core, and you wrapped your arms around his neck as he carried you into his bedroom and laid you down on the bed.

He stood at the foot of the bed and removed the rest of his clothes, and you wriggled out of your underwear so that when he crawled over you, you were both completely naked. 

You could feel the conflict in him – you knew that Sonny was gentle and probably wanted to take his time, but you also could feel how badly he missed you.  He settled on an uneven middle ground, pressing slow, wet kisses to you while his hands roved wildly over your form. 

His mouth drifted a lazy path from your mouth to your jaw and down your neck, across your collarbones and back to your mouth.  His hands wandered down your sides and up your front to cup first one breast and then the other.  He stroked your nipples until they were peaked and hard under his caresses. 

Spurred on by your moans and your squirming underneath him, his hand glided further down until it was pressed between your legs.  He slid a finger between your folds and groaned at how wet you were.  He pulled his head back to peer down at you, and your face felt red-hot.

“I told you I needed you,” you muttered at him, avoiding his gaze.

“I told you that you have me,” he replied thickly, and he pushed his finger into you slowly, making both of you moan.  Your face grew hotter, which didn’t seem humanly possible, as he stared down at you through half-lidded eyes.  He slid a second finger into you, then shifted his hand so that his thumb was circling your clit.

You huffed out a breath through your nose and tried to calm yourself, but you felt a liquid heat pooling deep in your belly, and you knew you weren’t going to last long. 

“Sonny, stop,” you whispered.  You felt him hesitate and pull his hand away from you.  You looked up and saw the question in his eyes.

“I want to…finish,” you stammered.  “With you, you know.  Inside me.”

He nodded and shifted his weight off of you to reach into his nightstand for a condom.  You used the moment to try and steady yourself again, squeezing your eyes shut as you heard him rip the wrapper.  Then you felt him stretch himself on top of you again, and you felt his hand cup your face, the thumb stroking your cheekbone.

“Hey, look at me,” he said softly.  You opened your eyes and looked up at him.  He gazed down at you as if you were the only other person in the world.

All the years of frustrated longing, all the other people you’d each been with, every conversation and glance laden with unrequited love – it all fell away when he looked at you like that.  You smiled at him and reached up to cup his own face in your palm, and he leaned into it, touch-starved.  After a moment, you simply nodded at him, and he reached down to line himself up with your entrance.

He pressed the tip of his erection into you with a groan, and you felt dangerously close to the edge.  He slid into you slowly – way too slowly.  His position on top of you made the angle shallow, and his length dragged along your sensitive clit as he pressed himself into your molten core. 

You wanted to make it last, but every single sensation was too much:  the friction on you bundle of nerves where the two of you were joined.  His hot breath, panting praise in your ear.  The scent of his cologne and your perfume mingling along with the headier scent of sex. 

He was only halfway inside you, but it was too late.  You gasped his name once, and then shuddered underneath him with a whimper, your legs wrapping around him to pull the rest of him into you in one thrust.  He started to reply to you, but he growled instead as your sheath gripped him, your orgasm ripping through you.  You shut your eyes as you came, moaning his name over and over.  You were distantly aware of him cursing above you, and he gave a single thrust until he came too.

He collapsed on top of you completely, and his weight pressed you into the mattress.  He groaned again, in frustration this time.  You stroked his hair at the back of his head until you both recovered.  He lifted his head to looked down at you.

“I’m sorry,” you each said at the same time, and you both laughed.  He leaned down and kissed you firmly before he shifted his weight and pulled out of you.  He left the room for a moment to dispose of the condom, then he came back into the bedroom.  He laid down beside you, and you each turned on your sides to face each other.

“I’m sorry I came too quickly,” you said with a rueful grin.  “I was too worked up, I guess.”

He pinched your chin lightly between his fingers and kissed you again.  “It’s all well and good for girls,” he grumbled good-naturedly.  “But I didn’t last at all.  Now all my street cred it gone.”  You laughed at this, and he pretended to look angry.

“It’s your fault,” he continued.  “You set me off.”

“Well, I owe you then,” you replied.  You tried to look contrite.  “Since your street cred is gone and all that.”  You snuggled up against him, enjoying the feeling of his skin pressed against yours.  He wrapped a lanky arm around you and pulled you tighter.

You felt comfortably drowsy, the net effect of your flight, Ma Carisi’s dinner, and being back in Sonny’s bed.  He hummed above you contently, and you started to doze off until your cell phone chimed from the other room.  You roused a bit but settled back against him.

Then it chimed again, and a third time.

“You need to get that?” Sonny asked.  His voice rumbled through his chest.  “Your west coast boyfriend, maybe?”  You knew he was joking, but there was still a jealous undercurrent to his tone.

“There was no west coast boyfriend,” you murmured against him.  “Unless you count my detachable shower head.”

He snorted at this but you could feel the relief in him as he relaxed against you. 

Then his phone chimed, one after another after another.

“Is that Nicole?” you asked, only half-meanly.  He snorted again before he untangled from you and grabbed at his pants at the foot of the bed. 

“Be careful,” he said as he pulled his phone out of his pants pocket.  “If you say her name three times, she’ll turn up and haunt your house.”  You laughed at this and sat up.  You wound his blanket around yourself.  Sonny unlocked his phone.

“Is it work?” you asked.  You felt your stomach dip.  You wanted to stay in this little bubble with Sonny for the entire weekend.  A little sex bubble, maybe with the occasional movie and homemade pasta break.

He just chuckled in reply.  “No, it’s Bella.”  He held up his phone so that you could read the screen.  “She tried to text you and you didn’t reply.  Now she’s of the impression that you’re here with me, corrupting her chaste, virginal brother with your wanton ways.”  He typed out a reply, then turned off his phone and tossed it on the nightstand before lying back down.  He grabbed you around the waist and pulled you down beside him.

“What did you tell her?” you asked.

“The truth,” he said.  He kissed you chastely, then tilted his head to deepen the kiss.  He broke away to look down at you, and his blue eyes were glittering with unshed tears again.  “I told her that you’re home.”

[hermithomebase]

#SHIELDSFORTOMMY that guy did NOT go live with eryn wearing dream's minecraft skin literal days after the drituation dropped, memorise and watch almost every video with dream's unreleased song 'trust issues'. and include dream in his latest live show while talking about an extremely vulnerable time in his life for dranti dumbasses to think they can convince anyone in dtblr that tommy hates dream. weakest fucking bait.

say that shit kitten

[nonexistent-introvert]

Maturing (Paper Stars 7)

Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader

Word Count: 2.7k

Content: Angst, fluff, the usual stuff idk. Lots of flashbacks, and going back to your neighbourhood to realise everything had changed vibes

A/N: I'm sorry but I feel my writing is going down in quality but i'm trying my best.

Paper stars Masterlist

   Nothing was the same anymore. You’ve only realised this as you sat for a family dinner consisting of your family and the Millers. It felt awfully familiar but so different at the same time. It used to be a familiar concept, that your family and the Millers would have meals together when you were just a kid. Your usual seat next to Joel had been overtaken by Sarah, extra chairs had to be moved to the dining table to sit your family and you again after a whole decade, and the fact that Joel, Tommy, and you had to make an effort to travel back here for the dinner instead of it just being a simple dinner after a long day. The only thing that didn’t seem to change was the chatter that filled the room as the parents bonded over the past decade while their kids sat awkwardly at the dining table. You could only guess that both Joel and Tommy had the same realisation as you, the realisation that no matter how hard everyone tried to restore or tried to be the same person, there was no denying that the three of you had changed in ways that would take time to get to know each other again. At least Tommy got to see you and Joel undergo these changes for the most part, which explains why he seemed to be the mediator and the glue that connected the both of you. If not for him, you wondered if you would ever see Joel again or got to know him and Sarah like the present. 

==============================================

     “It's gone!” You exclaimed in horror upon looking at the empty shop. “Fuck, I haven’t even realised it was.” Tommy sighed, he rarely took walks around the neighborhood when he came back for dinner. The empty shop windows were stained with the glue residues from posters, the empty shelves were once filled with the latest video games from every console. Tommy placed a hand over his eyes and leaned further to glance into the empty shop. “The arcade machine! The mortal Kombat one!” You tapped your fingers excitedly onto the glass, signaling to Tommy. “Shit, we practically gave our whole pocket money into that machine.” The machine used to be displayed proudly outside the shop, and kids gathered around the machine to watch the players fight a brutally morbid fight. The squeals and noises usually attracted the pedestrians who were using the sidewalk. “Do you think it still works?” You asked, Tommy smiled mischievously. “Well, I do have the skill to lockpick.” He suggested. Joel coughed, breaking between the two of you. His hands were on Sarah’s ears, “Can the both of you not conspire about trespassing and breaking in in front of my daughter?” “Spoilsport,” Tommy remarked. You chuckled, so invested in looking at the shop that you and Tommy frequented back then that you had completely forgotten the presence of Joel and Sarah. You looked at Joel and a wider grin spread across your features. Joel back then would have encouraged the both of you, the only condition of his would be his signature “Just don’t get caught”. On lucky days, Joel would stand outside, preferring to help the both of you keep watch for authorities. He had changed, grown more mature, more responsible, and less of a thrill seeker. 

===============================================

      “You’re the oldest one here! Instead of going along with them, you should be stopping them!” Joel was being reprimanded, Tommy and you stood by his side. Joel’s head was down, nodding as a sign of acknowledgment at the scoldings by Mrs Miller. “And the both of you! There was a clear sign that said it was out of bounds was it not? Do you know how many things could have gone wrong? What if you guys died there and we never found the three of you?” You bit back a smile, you can always leave it up to mothers to name the worst outcome in the most dramatic way. The three of you merely climbed the back gate of the school to avoid being caught by prefects stationed at the front gate for being late. Not one of you wanted to spend your time in detention. The chances of the three of you somehow ending up dead for climbing the back gate were practically impossible. “Do you find this very funny?” the sound of your mother snapped you out of your daze. “No.” Tommy started trembling, trying his best to hide his laughter when one escaped him. “I’m sorry! Just give me a minute.” He laughed, pissing both mothers off further. You could see Joel try his hardest to stifle his smile as he shuffled his feet. “The three of you need to grow up! Take things seriously! Think before you act.” She continued. Hands on her hips as she let out an exasperated sigh.  

      “This is stupid. Who snitched?” Tommy complained, shovelling the snow from under his feet. “The guard, who else? He literally screamed at us when we dispersed for our class before he could catch up with us.” You sighed, throwing another shovel of snow into the pile at the side. Joel was awfully quiet, making you look at him in concern. You knew he got a worse punishment than just shovelling snow simply because he was the oldest and was supposed to be the ‘rational’ one. You heard how he got screamed at even more after the Tommy and you were instructed to go start shovelling snow. “Joel, since when did you let scoldings get to you,” Tommy commented. Joel looked up, digging his shovel into the snow. “I’m not bothered.” His eyes caught sight of both mothers standing by the windows with their arms folded, supervising the three children outside. “Hey, they’re looking. Get to work.” Joel warned. The both of you were quick to play along, pretending to shovel the snow. “You good?” You shovelled the snow near him. He merely grunted in response, “I’m sorry. It was my idea to climb the back gate.” You apologised, feeling bad that he got the brunt of your decision. Joel looked at you, averting his eyes after a split second. “It’s not that..It’s just-just fun, to get into these kinds of mischief every once in a while. Was nice feeling the adrenaline even if I knew the consequences of it, would be better if we never got caught though.” He grinned at you. “Murphy’s law!” Tommy shouted his comment from the other end. You never knew how he heard Joel from his spot. “It just dawned on me that I can’t soon pass these kinds of actions off as ‘teenagers’. I’ll get to old for that and be labelled as a literal bad person, a criminal because its technically breaking and entering.” Joel admitted with a sad smile. “And I never should have encouraged it. Mum was right. What if you had sprained your ankle? Got injured? Getting myself into trouble was one thing, but putting the both of you in potential harm’s way? That’s on me” “Joel. It was my choice to do it.” You hated it, you hated how you never know what’s the right thing to say. Joel merely shrugged, he knew of your struggle. “Get on with it. I don’t think we’re allowed in for dinner till we finish shovelling everything.” Joel said to both of you. Tommy’s shoulders slumped in disappointment before he suddenly stood up straight and mockingly saluted Joel with a “Yes sir!” to which Joel shook his head. 

      Joel is a protector of the people he loves. That quality didn’t change. Ever since you were young, Joel always looked out for the people he loves, and placed their needs above his. It may be the quality of being the older sibling but it was further exemplified as he became a father at a young age. He had always made sure you and Tommy had your fun, doing the mischief and pranks while he made sure the both of you did not get into too much trouble. Took the blame for most matters, carried burdens on his shoulder like he was obliged to. It was the quality that made you realize how much he probably beats himself up over when he realises that Sarah got hurt while under his care when he couldn’t be there to help her when she had gotten injured at soccer practices. You finally identified the reason behind the disappointing look on his face when he thanked you for taking care of Sarah when she was sick or tending to her wounds when she was injured. He always tends to be upset that harm had come its way to the people he loved and cared about even if most of the time it was out of his control.

 ================================================

      Tommy ran to the ice cream shop. You strode along with the brothers, slouching more than usual as thoughts weighed heavily on your mind. “It would be nice to have some ice cream now.” Tommy eyed Joel suggestively. Joel shook his head before his eyes found your figure. You were leaning against a wall, eyes focused on the floor in front of you. Joel pursed his lips, stuffing his hand into his pocket to fish out the remainder of his allowance for that week. “Take your pick,” Joel told Tommy who jumped excitedly to the shop to order,   “Um, and one more cookies and cream please.” Joel finished the order, handing over the remainder of his allowance. “Since when did you like cookies and cream?” Tommy pointed out to which Joel ignored as he picked up the cup of ice cream from the counter. Joel walked slower, waiting for you to catch up before shoving the cup of ice cream into your hands. “Joel what?” “It’s for you. Your favourite too.” “Joel, then you won’t have any.” Joel shrugged, “The flavour I wanted ran out anyways.” He excused, watching you hesitantly take a spoonful of the ice cream. 

   It may not have been much to you back then. You hated yourself for taking practically a decade to realise that Joel had sacrificed his own serving for yours. That Joel probably had to survive on a smaller lunch proportion because he spent his allowance on you and Tommy instead. Another quality of his that did not change would always be how he puts the needs of the people he loves above all. You only just realized he had bought you the ice cream upon noticing your foul mood then.  You have always made fun of him being dense alongside Tommy, but you couldn’t help but notice that he was more observant than what you gave him credit for. All these realisations only came as you stared at the raspberry ripple-flavoured ice cream in your hands. Joel and Tommy sat opposite you while Sarah sat to your left, the four of you were at the same ice cream shop from back then, something Tommy was happy to see again. The shop was nothing like you remembered, it had undergone renovations to keep up with the times over the years but the layout of the shop was still familiar and if you searched hard enough, you would find some reminiscences of the past, like the family portrait near the counter that included the couple Mr Watson and Mrs Watson who ran the shop and was really kind to everyone. You wondered how they were now. You stared at the people behind the counter, the shop had long been taken over by the couple’s children.

     It wasn’t just everyone and everything else that had changed, you had changed too. The ice cream you deemed as your favourite was no longer cookies and cream but raspberry ripple, the rectangular glasses that you once wore had long been replaced with round glasses.

   The only thing that hadn’t changed was how your heart still fluttered for Joel and how you immediately averted your eyes from Joel when he caught you staring at him. 

================================================

      The rain poured relentlessly, you hugged the jacket around you tighter. The disappointment in your heart grew as you thought about what had happened. 

      “We’re taking our last order now. Do you want to order for your partner and yourself?” The waitress had asked you, a pitiful look on her face. You felt yourself swallow, feeling small and helpless under the pitiful gaze she gave you. “No thank you. I’ll take the bill now.” You had spluttered out instead. 

    You scrolled on your phone, turning on and off airplane mode. Maybe it was just a connection error, maybe there was something wrong. Joel wouldn’t have stood you up without a reason, would he? The hope that arose only ends up in further disappointment at every notification. You sighed, shutting off your phone completely before slipping it into your pockets. You hated how your mind came up with excuses for Joel, how your body ached to forgive him despite how embarrassed and disappointed you were. Your friend was right, being in love was literally being in delusion.

   Your eyes fell onto the shops on the streets. Couples were crowding every store, it was like the universe was mocking you for your situation. The smiles on their faces, the looks of adoration exchanged, you felt your heart clench in jealousy as you studied them with an envious look in your eye. You walked past a bar, you stood outside, contemplating if you should go in for a drink, to drown in your sorrows. It was as though time had stopped, looking through the glass as you contemplated on getting a drink, you spotted the man that had put you in such a state. 

    Joel was dressed in a blue button-up and trousers, he swirled his whiskey in his hands. Beside him sat a woman, you watched as he leaned closer to listen to her, watched as he gave her a smile and a shrug before downing his drink. The woman gave Joel a pat on his back. You felt sick to your stomach at the sight you witnessed. You forced yourself to continue along the sidewalk and away from the bar before you could make any impulsive decisions. Before you could act on your emotions without any rational thought. You felt foolish, felt utterly embarrassed at your actions and emotions tonight. You clutched onto the tote bag that you had brought tighter, inside containing the jar of paper stars that you had planned on giving him. 

     Joel would have never done that to you. The Joel you knew would never have stood you up without a proper reasoning. He wouldn’t have been drinking with another woman instead of actually turning up for a dinner he had invited you to. You laughed coldly at yourself. You should have realised after you went back to your old neighborhood. You should have known the lesson behind it. Everything has changed. Joel was once the person you knew like the back of your hand, but now he was merely an acquaintance you had reunited with a decade ago, trying his best to fit into the idea of him you kept in your heart from when you were kids. 

   Joel had always gone above and beyond for the people he loved, but you guessed you didn’t fit in that category anymore. A decade is a long time after all… 

   You could only blame yourself for not getting to know the Joel now. You shouldn’t have projected the idea you had of him, built from fragments of him from your childhood onto him now. 

   You could only wish that these feelings you had for him would go away. 

   This wish felt awfully familiar, it was the same wish you had when you had first moved away.

  You knew yourself well enough to know that you didn’t want to go through the heartbreak and pain you had felt from trying to erase the feelings for him. Joel and you were never a thing and yet you felt like hell. Maybe it was because your heart broke for something that never existed in the first place. 

    Being in love was indeed just one being delusional and delirious about the other’s sentiments towards them.

[hualian-blessing]

i like how people are calling tommy coward for not attending the event shadoune hosted cuz he was teamed with sapnap, george, hannah and sylvee, and that it'll be real awkward after he dropped his latest video.

well looking at the mess that is sapnap's kick drama...im honestly glad tommy back out cuz aint no way im watching one of my streamers be associated with the man willing to sell his morals for money and the people who enabled him without even criticizing the bastard 😒

anyways fuck kick, fuck sapnap, fuck sylvee, and fuck everyone who called the shifting to kick movement not bad or that its good 😘✌️

[vivianbernadetteaurora]

I give the 90s Viber a star sign it will definitely be Pisces energy, maybe also a bit of Aquarius energy for the difference, and the humanity of some of the nature but but a big butt in fact, a massive Uranus, Neptune, Capricorn conjunction which I was born in and I think went up to the early 90s, which then I didn’t even realise does make it Aquarius energy because Aquarius obviously comes after Capricorn and then we have Pisces, if you remember the 90s ages I was born in the early 90s so when it ended I would’ve been nine years old but I remember bits of it and if not, I remember the nostalgia of it. I know many people who were adults in the 90s because most of people I know if me and friends have been and told me it was the best times of their lives., dad brought me up an amazing music and musician himself and is, he’s from Liverpool and there was a massive Beatles fan, Eric Clapton, Dire Straits Pink Floyd, so out of music around me all different types. Being a young child, a young adults and adult or having any sort of connection to this era you know how, know nothing on telly was anything but the fresh Prince of Bel-Air, Simpsons, friends. Jennifer Aniston everybody wanted a Rachel haircut and I remember most people did have that laid out. We all had Barbies and babies baby born had nappies and you could feed., all different 90s adverts

When you grow up, you would make your own CDs and have your own collection where you would write on them and put all your favourite songs which would take a couple of days you would download all your songs from lime wire, and put your twist on and before that came along, we would record everything off the radio and record the charts and try to cut out the DJ every every time the song played out.

Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee, had their infamous sex tape, a couple of the 90s, after Kurt Cobain and Courtney Love into the midnight till the 2000 and you would see them both in music videos on TV on different programs because they were everywhere even when they broke up you would see them on their own individual little path even to having a fight at the 2007 VMA

Leonardo DiCaprio with every girls crush at the time and every girl was obsessed withTitanic . I was too young to get this but all my sisters were into that film, while I was watching Beatles films over and over again, it was a happy time. I remember when Mars bars were cheap and bigger and things didn’t make you fat

You would have 50p pocket money for Penny sweets which you don’t really see any more either , every time I grew up and I saw the new technological thing come out my dad was obsessed with having the latest technology of something he has like one of the first iPhones or something it was an iPod , I hated all those things and I felt like I stand it against them. I enjoyed making the music from them but I didn’t like the idea of Blu-ray and 3-D calories. I just felt a distance towards it

And then we had the Spice Girls I had a lunchbox of the Spice Girls and a T-shirt and we remember Jerry Lee because Jerry was my favourite Spice Girl , for me as well my first obsession as someone autistic was Destiny’s Child. I knew everything about them. I knew every member every song and my first CD , I got asked for my dad what CD would you like at Christmas and it was between Samantha and mamba Destiny’s Child and I chose the writing on the wall , it was amazing. I love every tractor this day on that album , his child got a lot of shit at the time because of .

I want you to know that I’m doing so good good so good. I had to tell you, but I’m so good so good., so they had two members that left LaTavia and Latoya, and then they had another team members join Michelle and Farah, Farah Franklin got kicked out of the ground very quickly because Matthew knows was very strict with health, weren’t allowed any brakes, he was known as Joe Jackson of the 90s I guess, because of her strict he was on them and wipe them so hard so then they became a 3 piece,  Beyoncé, Michelle and Kelly . I didn’t see it till years later, but Farrah went on the Wendy Williams show when she was a, and she was told that she was to look like Latvia because she was short and they died, they also tried to make her uglier because she was prettier than Beyoncé. In my opinion. She had green eyes and she was lovely and she always said and other people who said that the other girls when they went on holiday they would., Beyoncé had to wear a high factor so she was a lightest one on the group and, his mother was very racist and wanted to marry a white woman. and his Beyoncé s mum was creole , but she still got black. 

Jennifer Aniston was not going for many, from the nineties to the 2000s till this present day people know what’s going on with Jennifer Aniston and will she ever have children?, We live through the Jennifer Aniston., Angelina Brad saga ,, people had T-shirt saying team Jen or team ange.

The best group of the time the best wraps group one of we had a major amazing rap in the mighty we had the Fugees , Lauryn Hill and the racism scandal of the fact that she said she wouldn’t want any white people to buy her music was it true? Wasn’t it? True we live through these dramas back of what people were saying what they weren’t , everything is captured and therefore , where is now these people who grew up in that time? Almost have to change their views and if they say nothing , say something they’re fucked. You can’t say anything. I’ll be anything without getting it opinion . Winona Ryder was the old alternative girl of, well if you are in a band you would have dated, was that Paleo and all the alternative Tim Burton films, and that pretty girl she even got done in the early 2000s for shoplifting for which she was so iconic and said it was a role in a film,

She’s still a bit Cookey people still do these days with Winona Ryder when she is a bit random at ward shows those strange things, cheated Johnny Depp before he got with Kate Moss he was her first of everything and there was a massive age gap between , Johnny Depp was in every film the night is that you can think of that was popular but also independent. He never wanted to be part of a franchise and then he became the pirates of the Caribbean boy . Everybody fancy Johnny Depp man fancy Jennifer Aniston Kate Moss was a model that everybody knew and was familiar with you to see the adverts of Remo London Bradshaw a.k.a. Sarah Jessica take over the airwaves with advert and performances, the adverts that you would remember for P1 on high essences herbal essence was a shampoo and conditioner , a conditioner could give you an orgasm . that’s it for now guys. This is my look of my own life through the 90s .